New Bedford Splatter

When you shit your pants after eating linguica.

Lou: hey bro wanna go chill on my boat?
Bobby: sure but I gotta go home to change my pants.
Lou: why??
Bobby: New Bedford Splatter.
Lou: ??????????????
Bobby: had linguica for lunch.
Lou: ????????
Bobby: mad diarrhea bro.
Lou: you sick fuck. Get out of my car now!
Bobby: sorry bro.

by affluent geoffrey July 20, 2019

JP

Acronym for the Boston neighborhood Jamaica Plain. Diversity is celebrated in JP. It's not uncommon to see affluent college kids intermingling with disadvantaged inner city youths at the public parks where playing basketball and smoking marijuana is a way of life.

"Hey lets go to JP to play some hoops and blaze up with the homeboys."

by affluent geoffrey January 31, 2020

schadegging

A term used to describe when someone goes to online forums to hype up cities or towns in an attempt to increase the value of their real estate investment properties.

This is fucking insane. The moderator banned me from the message board for schadegging. I don't even own any damn properties! Son of a bitch is clueless.

by affluent geoffrey June 26, 2019

Mattapan

A section of Boston, MA plagued by drugs, violence and poverty. Locals refer to it as "the Pan".

"yo bro wanna go to the projects in Mattapan and score some heroin?"

"motherfucker are you nuts? i'm not going to the Pan at night."

"u a pussy."

by affluent geoffrey October 13, 2019

Sour Patch Momma

A wealthy older woman that provides a monetary allowance in exchange for eating her rancid twat.

"Holly asked me if she can be my Sour Patch Momma. She said she'd give me $500 a week and buy me a Popeye's Chicken Sandwich. I'm gonna do it!"

by affluent geoffrey September 16, 2019

Unwashed Masses

Unsophisticated people of a low socioeconomic status that don't eat lobster rolls for dinner at least twice a week.

Son: I'm hungry.
Mother: Do you want hot dogs or ramen noodles?
Son: Can we have lobster rolls?
Mother: No, lobster is too expensive.
Son: But all my friends...
Mother: I don't give a fuck what your friends eat you ungrateful little bastard.
Son: But mom...
Mother: There will be no lobster rolls in this house. Ever.
Son: You bitch!
Mother: Go to your room.
Son: Sorry mom. Can we get a Subaru?
Mother: This family does not drive a Subaru or eat lobster rolls.
Son: Why?
Mother: Because we are proudly among the unwashed masses. We are trash.
Son: Ok.
Mother: Don't forget you have therapy tomorrow at 3:30.

by affluent geoffrey July 21, 2019

ladyfriend

A code word often used by closeted gay men to describe their gay lovers.

"I am straight but my ladyfriend likes to go dancing at the gay nightclubs in Providence."

by affluent geoffrey January 31, 2020