ZonaCat Hansen's definitions
A person who values their time and hates having to go shopping. "In and out" is the only way they know how to shop, regardless of quantity of items. A power shopper might come across as aggressive and impatient, but they know what they want and where their items are, hence, they see no reason to stroll and dilly-dally and feign that they are thinking of what they want or need to buy.
Power shoppers are known to fill a grocery basket to half-full in under two-minutes. In stores with narrow aisles, they park their cart at the end of the aisle and jog into the aisle, get what they need and toss their items into their baskets from three feet away. They take great pride in always making the basket and never breaking any items.
Power shoppers are known to fill a grocery basket to half-full in under two-minutes. In stores with narrow aisles, they park their cart at the end of the aisle and jog into the aisle, get what they need and toss their items into their baskets from three feet away. They take great pride in always making the basket and never breaking any items.
The man ran his cart into Trader Joe's and began tossing bananas, bags of nuts, loaves of bread and a dozen Clif Bars into his cart. A slow-witted snowbird refused to step aside when he said "excuse me," so he spun around the woman like an NFL tailback, tossed his frozen veggies into his cart and headed back toward the cash register.
A senior citizen commented to her husband, "Did you see how rude that man was?"
The old husband commented, "Nah. He's not rude. He was polite. He said 'Excuse me.' The lady taking up the aisle... who didn't move, SHE was the rude one. I wish I was still young enough to be a 'power shopper,' in my day, I could power shop with the best of 'em.
A senior citizen commented to her husband, "Did you see how rude that man was?"
The old husband commented, "Nah. He's not rude. He was polite. He said 'Excuse me.' The lady taking up the aisle... who didn't move, SHE was the rude one. I wish I was still young enough to be a 'power shopper,' in my day, I could power shop with the best of 'em.
by ZonaCat Hansen November 26, 2010
Get the Power Shoppermug. An alternative, more humorous deviation from the traditional koan in the Eastern philosophical realm such as:
A quasi-koan almost invariably has a more comedic subtext.
Traditional koans are generally devoid of humorous subtexts.
i.e., "What is the sound of one-hand clapping?"
A quasi-koan has a similar, riddle-like essence but is less serious than its traditional predecessor.
i.e., "Is a person with MPD ever truly alone?
A quasi-koan almost invariably has a more comedic subtext.
Traditional koans are generally devoid of humorous subtexts.
i.e., "What is the sound of one-hand clapping?"
A quasi-koan has a similar, riddle-like essence but is less serious than its traditional predecessor.
i.e., "Is a person with MPD ever truly alone?
"If someone farts in a kitten's face, does the kitten know it is being disrespected?"
Hey! That's a quasi-koan!
Hey! That's a quasi-koan!
by ZonaCat Hansen October 30, 2010
Get the quasi-koanmug. A pretentious, bohemian wanna-be, who frequents various coffee shops. He loves to spout his artiste-poseur opinions loudly in everyday conversation to anyone who will listen, so that his strong opinions can be heard by random strangers that he pines to impress. Almost always knows less than he tries so hard to convey. Usually has a laptop hooked up to wi-fi, yet rarely if ever touches the keyboard. Prefers to sit outside at the sidewalk table if possible so that he can be seen by as many cool locals as possible. Prides himself of being hip as evidenced by donning the latest trendy, hipster, hair-do. i.e., dreadlocks, shaved head, etc...
The "java-hipster" raved loudly to his nose-ringed buddies about the latest Johnny Depp film as the irritated cafe patrons feigned a yawn in his direction to show obvious annoyance at his pathetic attempts to be heard by all.
by ZonaCat Hansen June 28, 2008
Get the java-hipstermug. The moment of relief when on has made a breakthrough on their "cerebral constipation." The "aha, I remember" phenomenon when one finally, remembers what they have struggling to remember.
After being asked what mafia film won Best Picture 1972, the movie buff, after struggling for 27 minutes, finally had a "mind burp" as he cried out, I got it, I got, "the Godfather!"
by ZonaCat Hansen June 28, 2008
Get the mind burpmug. The act of completely forgetting the name of an actor, song, book, movie or name of anything that one is generally familiar with. The "on-the-tip-of-my-tongue" phenomenon. The 'mind-burp' is the moment of relief, the actual recall. i.e., "Aha! I got it! I remember!"
The movie buff had a bad case of "cerebral constipation" as he choked under pressure when the cute waitress asked him for the name of his favorite romantic comedy.
by ZonaCat Hansen June 28, 2008
Get the cerebral constipationmug. Like a docudrama, a "docucomedy" is an accurate reenactment of a true-life story. However, for a filmmaker, a "docucomedy" is far more challenging than a docudrama as the comedic moments and funny dialogue peppered throughout "had to have really happened." i.e., They must be real and naturally occurring not fabricated.
Sometimes, the dry, fact-based, narrative of Detective Joe Friday (upon questioning a stoned hippie) in the TV police docudrama, "Dragnet," contained some elements of a "docucomedy."
Nonetheless, a "docucomedy" is not to be confused with the comedic mockumentary genre that includes films such as "Borat," "Spinal Tap" or "Mail Order Wife."
Sometimes, the dry, fact-based, narrative of Detective Joe Friday (upon questioning a stoned hippie) in the TV police docudrama, "Dragnet," contained some elements of a "docucomedy."
Nonetheless, a "docucomedy" is not to be confused with the comedic mockumentary genre that includes films such as "Borat," "Spinal Tap" or "Mail Order Wife."
For people who truly believe that their life story is a full-on, human comedy or if they think that last year's vacation in China (looking for their future spouse) was a "non-stop, barrel of laughs," perhaps they should seriously consider making a "docucomedy."
by ZonaCat Hansen December 9, 2008
Get the docucomedymug. An affliction that ails men entering middle age, usually evidenced by a swollen head that was not present in their teens or twenties. As best can be determined, SHS is caused by a lifetime of a diet high in animal fats and high sodium intake.
After watching William Shatner in "Star Trek" and John Travolta in "Welcome Back Kotter," then again seeing them both over twenty years later in "Boston Legal" and "Pulp Fiction," it was clear that both venerable actors suffered from Swollen Head Syndrome (SHS).
by ZonaCat Hansen June 28, 2008
Get the Swollen Head Syndrome (SHS)mug.