Definitions by Zak

Assmosis 

The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss.

"He got VP via assmosis."

Assmosis by Zak May 3, 2003

monosyllabic 

Composed of one syllable words. Going against the pronounciation of the word itself.

Monosyllabic sentence: This is a look at these kinds of words.

monosyllabic by Zak May 3, 2003

Dictionary 

A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is most useful.

"Read the Goddamn rest of this dictionary. Why are you still HERE?"

Dictionary by Zak May 3, 2003

cynic

A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as the ARE, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among Scythians of plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.

I am a cynic. Ow! Ow! Those are my eyes1

cynic by Zak May 3, 2003

Ozzyish 

The incoherent, strung-together language spoken by The Crown Prince of Darkness, Ozyy Osbourne.

I don't speak Ozzyish, Mr. Osbourne. Can't you speak ENGLISH?

Ozzyish by Zak April 30, 2003

Seagull Management 

The type of business where your boss hovers around the office, takes the good ideas for himself/herself, and shits on every other idea you have.

I'm tired of this seagull management! I want to be able to use my OWN ideas for MYSELF.

Seagull Management by Zak April 30, 2003

holy crap 

A once-common exclaimation popularized by Strong Bad, the EMail answerer of homestarrunner.com

"People knockig on heaven's door-HOLY CRAAAAAAAP!"

"I have come back from the dead to take-wha-Holy Craaap......"

"Holy Crap! Somebody get this freakin' duck away from me!"

holy crap by Zak April 28, 2003