Zak's definitions

cynic

A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as the ARE, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among Scythians of plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.

I am a cynic. Ow! Ow! Those are my eyes1

by Zak May 3, 2003

Fastskin

Also FSII

Tight swimsuit for rich people that supposedly mimicks sharkskin but it only lasts about 10 meets but stil its worth it becuase it makes you look fast!!

For the guys it comes in:
Brief, Jammer, Legskin, HiNeck Kneeskin, Backstroke HiNeck Bodyskin, HiNeck Bodyskin, and Fullbodyskin

For the ladies it comes in:
Recordbreaker, Recordbreaker Kneeskin, HiNeck Kneeskin, Backstroke HiNeck Bodyskin, HiNeck Bodyskin, Recordbreaker Bodyskin, and Full Bodyskin

Tom: Whoa look at that kid wearing the hi-neck kneeskin.
John: He must be fast and rich.

by Zak August 20, 2004

OHNO-Second

That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

"It took an OHNO-Second to realize he had deleted the company's files."

by Zak May 3, 2003

(y)

Internet slang for raising your thumb.

cool (y)

by Zak March 28, 2003

UMFRIEND

A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship.

"This is Bridget, my...um, friend."

by Zak May 3, 2003

Dictionary

A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is most useful.

"Read the Goddamn rest of this dictionary. Why are you still HERE?"

by Zak May 3, 2003

Percussive Maintenance

The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

The server's down...nothing a little percussive maintenance can't fix...

by Zak May 29, 2003