William Stephens's definitions

suspenders

An excuse that nerds have been using for years to explain why they are unable to obtain pleasureful blowjobs.

Nerd: "Dude, I totally would have gotten a blowjob, but it would have been too much trouble to remove my suspenders in order to drop my khakis to my penny loafers, exposing my penis and testicles."
Other: "Why did'nt you just pull it out of your fly?"
Nerd: "Suspenders, chess, Dungeons and Dragons, Harry Potter, pocket protector, compuuuuter........." (hangs himself)

by William Stephens May 3, 2006

Myspace Tom

A big computer nerd, who grew up with no friends. He created a network of people, in which he is automatically added as everyone's friend. This makes Tom think that he has actual friends (he doesn't) and he can now sleep and masturbate without crying.

Person 1: "Hey, I just joined MySpace and this Tom guy is apparently my friend. I don't know him and he doesn't look like the type of person that I would normally befriend."
Person 2: "Myspace Tom is a computer nerd and made it so the MySpace network automatically makes him your friend. I suggest that you immediately delete that pathetic loser from your friends."

by William Stephens May 22, 2006

macgyver

A guy with a mullet who bangs lots of 80's broads and has one of the coolest theme songs ever. On September 14, 1985, God's second son (Jesus' little brother) Macgyver was introduced to the world. He can make a bitch cum with a tooth pick and a stick of chewing gum. His only downside is that he is a pussy bitch who refuses to use guns, in fact in one episode after he finds a gun he hides it in a flower pot. But he redeems himself by turning a coffin into a Jet-Ski (what a bad ass).

Guy 1: "What did you do last night?"
Guy 2: "I Macgyvered this chick in the ass and then she pooped out white logs, which I used to a snowman that saved the world."

by William Stephens May 3, 2006

paranoia

A disease that afflicts me and made me think for 3 years of my life that my left leg was longer than my right leg. Every time my phone rings I think it is the FBI. And every time my doorbell rings I think it is a giant purple dinosaurs that eats children.

Person: "William, why are you in the fetal position under your bed?"
Me: "Paranoia."

by William Stephens May 22, 2006

poker

A very profitable game for psychics.

"Damn, Miss Cleo sure kicked my ass in that poker game."

by William Stephens May 3, 2006

aids

Anally Induced Death Syndrome

Man, he's hot. I'd love to bang him in the ass....... too bad he has AIDS.

by William Stephens May 11, 2006

P.S.

1. What part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were elminated.

2. Two letters that are usually followed by the phrase "I hope you die and burn in hell."

Dear Grandma,

Thank you for the wonderful cookies.
P.S. I hope you die and burn in hell.

by William Stephens May 3, 2006