Mr Haaf is an all seeing god, merciful upon us. We pray to him, and respect him, he is forever giving. Mr Haaf is an amazing, beautiful god, and you should join Haafism. Join it. JOIN US. NOW.
Me: OH MY GOD ITS MR HAAF! *Kneels down to pray*
Friend: ..:that’s a 22 year old geography teacher with a fiance…
Me: and? He’s merciful and I pray to him that I am spared from my monthly bleeding. Its worked in the past!
Friend: ..:that’s a 22 year old geography teacher with a fiance…
Me: and? He’s merciful and I pray to him that I am spared from my monthly bleeding. Its worked in the past!
by Utter_Lozer November 09, 2024
Me! My AO3, Discord, and Tiktok username! Ever wondered who took that one misspelling of the username you so desperately wanted? Well it was me. My real name is Wren, and people seem to find me weird. I read homestuck a lot, and I’m a furry. I draw, and make bracelets a ton too. I have a lot of super cool online friends, Hawley (my boyfriend and matesprit!), Rob (and the others) and Ross! (And their others), but I don’t have many real friends, I have Morgan, and Aniston, and Elliot, and Micheal, but my friendship with Aniston is fizzling out, and Morgan seems more distant. I’m afraid of making them uncomfortable, I don’t understand emotional cues sometimes. I have a therapist, I’ve had one since I was about 6-7? I had severe anger issues, and a past of child neglect from my mother. And I still have a therapist to this day! I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, BPD, Depression, Anxiety, and more minor conditions like Pica. I’ve been to the hospital once, it wasn’t as bad as people make it out to be. The food was good, and most of the other patients were actually quite friendly. To laura, or as I liked to call her, Lauren Faust, you keep reading your BL (defo Bible Literature).
Utter_Lozer: Hey guyz !’m gonna read Homeztuck aga!n!!! (I use a typing quirk a lot)
My friends: PLEASE STOP INFODUMPING ABOUT HOMESTUCK AUGHH!
My friends: PLEASE STOP INFODUMPING ABOUT HOMESTUCK AUGHH!
by Utter_Lozer October 10, 2024
A heavenly geography teacher who i need to impregnate and looks like the living re-incarnation of a bear and lets us watch CNN 10
by Utter_Lozer September 26, 2024
An awesome, amazing boyfriend who has these big, beautiful blue eyes and this stupid really short messy blonde hair, and really pale skin, who’s always there to listen and reassure you, and sometimes confuse you with his weird Irish language. He’s so pretty and i cry thinking about the day he dies. He’s been there with me through everything even when I was in the hospital for my OD attempt. If your reading this Hawley, I love you so so so so so much from the bottom of my heart and I hope you know that no matter what, if you killed somebody, blew up a school, or anything else worse, I would always love you. Even when my heart stops beating I will love you and think about you, WHEN I AM NOTHING BUT SOIL FOR THE MAGGOTS TO SQUIRM IN I WILL MISS YOU AND I WILL WISH I COULD HAVE BEEN WITH YOU LONGER. <3 -Zubin
Conor: a really really sweet amazing person.
Friend: Why do you like him so much?
Me: He pulled me out of my depression and gave my life meaning.
Friend: Why do you like him so much?
Me: He pulled me out of my depression and gave my life meaning.
by Utter_Lozer October 08, 2024
Mr Haaf is a really cool guy, he’s like the living re-incarnation of bear, he makes geography actually fun. He also lets us watch CNN 10 which is awesome.
by Utter_Lozer September 27, 2024
A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!
What will the name of this young man be?
What will the name of this young man be?
Your name is JOHN: As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of CAKES are scattered about your room. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for REALLY TERRIBLE MOVIES. You like to program computers but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. You have a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE, and are an aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN. You also like to play GAMES sometimes.
by Utter_Lozer October 09, 2024
Haafism is a religion centering around the merciful and all knowing god Mr Haaf, started by Elliot and spread by Liam, is who has become the new prophet. He is a benevolent and powerful being who we must please and pray too. He carries his sticky notes like weapons, and when not pleased he gives a mark, a death sentence in disguise. Praise Mr Haaf.
by Utter_Lozer November 09, 2024