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Definitions by Ubeenbamboozledson

Hyperacusis 

A rare, debilitating hearing disorder that is characterized by an extreme sensitivity to sound. Normal sounds are perceived as too loud, while very loud sounds (such as a crowd cheering at a concert, or a very loud talker), are extremely painful and sometimes distorted.

People with hyperacusis also tend to have tinnitus as well, which worsens with loud sounds. Talk about a Double Whammy!

Hyperacusis often comes on suddenly, and it is not curable. However, it can be reduced to the point that it's barely noticeable.
"My mate has hyperacusis, and his mom talks so loud that I can hear her loud and clear all the way across the house. I can only wince at how painful it must be for him."

Norman Lloyd 

Norman Lloyd (Born Norman Nathan Perlmutter) was an American actor. Born on November 8, 1914, Lloyd was the was the longest-lived actor of all time -- and also the longest-active actor of all time -- with a career that lasted from the age of eight until his death on May 11, 2021 at the ripe old age of 106.
The last film Norman Lloyd appeared in before his death was Trainwreck. He was 100 years old at the time of its release.

That's pretty crazy.

ASDFophobia 

The (totally not made up) fear of backstories.
The origin of ASDFophobia

Patient: Doctor, I'm afraid of backstories!

Doctor: When did this all start?

Patient: Well....AAAAHHHHH!!!

Cartoon Logic 

AKA Cartoon Physics.

A law in cartoons that states that if something impossible would be amusing if it actually happened, then it will happen.

That's not the entire rule, either; see below.
The full definition of Cartoon Logic is as follows:

*Should the character be able to do this?

> Yes No

*Would it be funny if they couldn't?

> Yes No

*They can't do it.

----

*Should the character be able to do this?

Yes > No

*Would it be funny if they could?

> Yes No

*They can do it.

----

*Should the character be able to do this?

> Yes No

*Would it be funny if they couldn't?

Yes > No

*They can do it.

----

*Should the character be able to do this?

Yes > No

*Would it be funny if they could?

Yes > No
*They can't do it.

Big Iron 

A popular song by Marty Robbins about an Arizona Ranger that goes to the town of Agua Fria to kill a young outlaw nicknamed "Texas Red" that is terrorizing the town. Spoiler: he succeeds.

The song has been parodied many times on Youtube, with humorous edits that may or may not change the story of the song.

Some of the most popular ones include:

-Big Iron, but Texas Red wins

-Big Iron, but the ranger is after everyone

-Big Iron, but everyone is dead
To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day
Hardly spoke to folks around him, didn't have too much to say
No one dared to ask his business, no one dared to make a slip

The stranger there among them had a big iron on his hip

Big iron on his hip

Alzheimer's Clarity Moment 

When a person with middle/end-stage Alzheimer's has a brief moment where they snap out of their memory loss. It only lasts a few seconds at most, and is very bittersweet for everyone involved.
Pamela and her friend, Maureen went to the nursing home to visit Pamela's 83-year-old mother, Edna, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease four years prior.

When the two gals got to Pamela's mother, they found her in a wheelchair staring aimlessly at the wall. But when Maureen tried to introduce herself, Pamela's mother had an Alzheimer's Clarity Moment.

"Hello, Maureen" she said, in a soft, barely-audible voice.

Ecstatic, Pamela quickly asked her, "Mom, do you recognize me?"

"Yes," Pamela's mom said after a brief pause. "Yes, I do recognize you...Pam...ela..." And then she reverted to staring at the wall, her sudden moment of clarity forever lost.

Pamela began sobbing, while Maureen did her best to console her friend. That was the last time they saw her mother before she succumbed to the disease.

John Bain Syndrome 

When you die from a disease or other illness that you made fun of in the past.
John Bain Syndrome got its name from John Peter Bain A.K.A "The Cynical Brit." In the early 2010s, he came under fire for telling someone to "go get cancer and die."

Needless to say, the Internet was NOT very sympathetic when he revealed that he had cancer himself, citing this infamous moment many times. They practically rejoiced when he revealed that it was terminal.