Jamaican Wank

When a man (or woman) engages in masturbation whilst using tobasco or some other form of spiced sauce as a lubricant.
"Damn dude, my dicks on fire today"

"Why, what happened?"

"Used to much sauce whilst having a Jamaican Wank this morning!"
by Two Spoon Destroyer August 21, 2020
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Onion Ring

When someone puts a peeled, unchopped onion up their rectum. They then fart in front of people and gain sexual gratification from when people ask 'who's cooking onions because they smell like shit?'
Wow, someone's cooking bad onions!

Nah, don't worry. Chris has onion ring!
by Two Spoon Destroyer November 23, 2020
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Blitzkrieging

Verb: when you fuck your partner for exactly 2 minutes and 12 seconds at 177 beats per minute, the only exclamations allowed other than hey oh let's go must be in German (polish for the receptive partner).
by Two Spoon Destroyer November 15, 2020
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Ding dong kung-fu

A form of martial arts only seen in the shady parts of Beijing or in triad controlled China town. It is also used as a sport for betting and such like.

Where 2 or more men use their erect penises as weapons in a duel but also doing those crazy kung-fu flips. Women can participate with strap-ons but this provides a distinct advantage due to their artificial nature.
Joe: 'Chris are you ok?'

Chris: 'No mate, absolutely exhausted. My penis is black and blue from all that Ding dong kung-fu!'
by Two Spoon Destroyer December 23, 2020
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Door Duty

1. Something or someone that controls what enters or exits
2. An anus or vagina
3. A person using a prophylactic
Chris: I had great sex last night
Joe: Cool!
Chris: Don't worry, I had a condom on door duty
by Two Spoon Destroyer November 18, 2020
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