4 definitions by Tjanvier

An espresso shot diluted with hot water, which tastes like thin airline coffee, but which saves a barista the time and bother of making a rich, brewed coffee by doing a pour-over with ground coffee and near-boiling water. An Americano made with more shots of espresso is a type of intelligence test: it tastes richer, like real brewed coffee, but you're paying twice as much.
Customer: How's about an Americano with two shots of espresso?
Barista: Two-shot Americano for the moron!
by Tjanvier January 7, 2022
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A filthy, chimeric beast with the form of a human being but with an irrational, violent mind closer to a wild primate, resulting from an aberrant social experiment from 2016 to 2020, in which ordinary hillbillies and their diaspora were conditioned employing a tsunami of deliberate misinformation that altered their perceptions, along with intellectual and empathetic capacity.

Donald John Trump, a former New York reality-show host and known sociopath, was the primary source and channel for the misinformation, which resulted in his election to the office of President. During his term of office, he tested the trance-like loyalty of his subjects with ever more degrading and humiliating acts (see communion, diaper), culminating in a homicidal trumpanzee insurrection on January 6, 2021, against Congress as they certified the electoral college ballots from the 2020 general election, which Trump lost by nearly 8 million votes.

Despite intensive investigation, scientists are unsure if the trumpanzee conditioning can be reversed, as there appears to be permanent brain damage.
Ordinary citizen 1: Watch out, that trumpanzee is about to charge.
Ordinary citizen 2: No problems. That's why god gave us bear spray.
by Tjanvier January 7, 2022
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An urban restatement of consoling aphorisms such as "Every cloud has a silver lining" or "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," indicating that all life experiences help by contributing to our learning, even if just as cautionary examples.
Hiker 1: Wow, stepping in that badger trap hurt like hell!

Hiker 2: It's all good. You'll watch where you step now.
by Tjanvier January 7, 2022
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A term coined by starving millennial vegans to describe any traditional dish that would not be found in, say, a rabbit's diet.
That chicken sandwich is so just comfort food--you're going to need to detox with an arugula salad with nutritional yeast.
by Tjanvier March 21, 2018
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