Thomas Johnson's definitions

havers lane

this is where i'm at, you know my crib. its a fat place, just opposite my bezzy mate leo (wee've had some good times - like the time when we was pist round his crib, and we shouted "get ya tits out" to this fit biatch. turned out to be my mum, but hey, thats a story for another time)i like the idea of havers lane being known as 'gangsters paradise', i get a lot of attention when girls ask me where i live, they all just want to cotch at my crib.

Alright phatty, wheres yo crib?
Havers lane
oh my god! i wanna cotch at ure crib!

by Thomas Johnson June 9, 2003

wank engine

Derives from the term "thomas the tank engine" but applied to a certain dandruffed overweight no-mum "thomas the wank engine" is appropiate as it describes hes dirty habitit of playing with hes choad. if u are unsure of this other term look it up. CHOAD

i wouldnt mind choo choo-ing on jackies clit and emptying my tank load on her engine.

by thomas johnson June 12, 2003

ice cream dealer

This is my business. I use it to trick the pigs innit. People come to me to pick up, and i just stick a bit of green or some jills in their ice cream, nah wot i mean.

u batty boy, ice cream boy, patrick!

by Thomas Johnson June 11, 2003

The Fight

This is where i knocked out tom johnson. He came at me with a flying kick, so i.... n a Muhammed Ali fashion leant back then bitch slapped that mother fucker to the ground. He wont mess with me i thought, as i walked away with the power of a gladiator, yet the physique of an elephant.

Ok then lads...you gotta admit, maybe he did win, but i am still undefeated.

by Thomas Johnson June 22, 2003

bum fluff boy

i dont shave my bum fluff cos it makes me look more of a man for the ladies.

look at me! (tom johnson)

by thomas johnson July 29, 2003

screwdriver

oh the screwdriver, my trusty screwdriver. boy this has come in handy on a few occasions....lolol! just a few.. i think not! yeah man, you can use this bitch for all types of things: ramming up bob and rikkys hair arses, protection, even doing D.I.Y around the house

a screw driver a day keeps the people who hate me and wana kick my phat arse away

by Thomas Johnson June 7, 2003

BO! jangles

this is a phat place but it is also proper norty. i have bare fights here and its where my enemys grant and mitchell sometimes cotch. its actually called jangles but it is such a wicked place.

"BO! jangles, that is a dangerous place bruv dont go there seriously. some norty people cotch der" -a kid in stortford warning a reporter.

by Thomas Johnson June 12, 2003