TheSaltergeist's definitions
ANTIFA shares many parallels with the Bible, despite being secular. Much like the inception of all things bad in the Bible, ANTIFA traces it's origins back to what members refer to as 'Original Soyn.'
Original Soyn is celebrated on Dec 25th, and harkens back to a seminal event described in their holy book, The Wokerinomicron.
On a winter's day in 1993, an epileptic Seattle teen was in attendance at Our Lord Adam Schiff school of Virtue Community college and Vape Shop, in a Privilege Acknowledgement class.
Feeling a tingle in the back of her head, she rose to her feet, fearing a seizure. But this was no seizure. Gripping the table, she began shaking violently. Images and instruction began filling her head from an unknown source. Foaming at the mouth and losing control of her bowels, she collapses into a heap, continuously farting.
Upon awaking, she began at write down what she had experienced. These are the tenets of modern day ANTIFA, and these writings became the Wokerinomicron.
ANTIFA strictly adhere to making themselves very puny, easily led, cowardly, incestuous and self-loathing, as their doctrine dictates.
Original Soyn is celebrated on Dec 25th, and harkens back to a seminal event described in their holy book, The Wokerinomicron.
On a winter's day in 1993, an epileptic Seattle teen was in attendance at Our Lord Adam Schiff school of Virtue Community college and Vape Shop, in a Privilege Acknowledgement class.
Feeling a tingle in the back of her head, she rose to her feet, fearing a seizure. But this was no seizure. Gripping the table, she began shaking violently. Images and instruction began filling her head from an unknown source. Foaming at the mouth and losing control of her bowels, she collapses into a heap, continuously farting.
Upon awaking, she began at write down what she had experienced. These are the tenets of modern day ANTIFA, and these writings became the Wokerinomicron.
ANTIFA strictly adhere to making themselves very puny, easily led, cowardly, incestuous and self-loathing, as their doctrine dictates.
Al Sharpton: Dey shot anotha black mayn out hurr. For nuthin. We gon burn this mutha down.
Chris Cuomo: Shocking. All he did was shoot his baby mamma and run at cops with a chainsaw while on bath salts. When will this rayciss end? Luckily, ANTIFA is just an idea and won't riot
Chris Cuomo: Shocking. All he did was shoot his baby mamma and run at cops with a chainsaw while on bath salts. When will this rayciss end? Luckily, ANTIFA is just an idea and won't riot
by TheSaltergeist June 4, 2021
Get the ANTIFAmug. Male (pronouns) member of the totally non-existent, nonviolent and generally wholesome, healthy group, ANTIFA.
Andy Tina's train relentlessly to be in optimum physical health, so they can exert their dominance in the field of battle/mostly peaceful protests. Which "don't exist - Joe Biden". Getting up at the crack of lunchtime, AT's begin training in earnest.
Lifting the bong for reps, AT's increase the intensity by expelling oxygen via conversations about White Supremes and how the evil capitalist corporatist elites have their knee on his neck.
All the training in the capitalist world won't help you, if your diet isn't up to scratch. So after, AT's indulge in a hearty meal of lawn trimmings, dessicated acai berries and a spoon of purest soy to keep their testosterone level at peak minimum.
Then it's on to flexing those brain muscles. 2 hrs of reading Communist literature and drawing bad hentai ensures continual decline in all areas of life.
Andy Tina's train relentlessly to be in optimum physical health, so they can exert their dominance in the field of battle/mostly peaceful protests. Which "don't exist - Joe Biden". Getting up at the crack of lunchtime, AT's begin training in earnest.
Lifting the bong for reps, AT's increase the intensity by expelling oxygen via conversations about White Supremes and how the evil capitalist corporatist elites have their knee on his neck.
All the training in the capitalist world won't help you, if your diet isn't up to scratch. So after, AT's indulge in a hearty meal of lawn trimmings, dessicated acai berries and a spoon of purest soy to keep their testosterone level at peak minimum.
Then it's on to flexing those brain muscles. 2 hrs of reading Communist literature and drawing bad hentai ensures continual decline in all areas of life.
Chad: Are you....OK?
Andy Tifa: Yeah mayun, it's just... this corporate oppressive societal structure of oppression is crushing everything, we NEED to give the means of production to the people.
Chad: ...how did you just ejaculate?
Andy Tifa: Yeah mayun, it's just... this corporate oppressive societal structure of oppression is crushing everything, we NEED to give the means of production to the people.
Chad: ...how did you just ejaculate?
by TheSaltergeist June 4, 2021
Get the Andy Tifamug. Despite concessions being made, a large man was resisting arrest strongly, after attempting to steal from a grocery store with a fake bill.
It took all officers to hold him down.
Delboy adopted the textbook prone knee hold to the man to restrict his maneuverability. The man continued to shout and make the same claims he had been making for the previous 30 minutes. Delboy asked his colleagues to call paramedics as the man was complaining of medical issues.
When the paramedics arrived, the man's heart had stopped beating. It was later found that he had ingested a large amount of fentanyl, which had strained his already diseased heart.
The man was pronounced dead some time later. This event would ensure that Delboy's name would be etched into the publics memory for quite some time to come. Delboy was charged for his claimed misconduct and placed under arrest. What followed was months of backlash, rioting, looting, destruction of property, arson, rape and murder, mostly by a certain group of people, in reaction to the occurrence.
A year later, the riots still ongoing in some cities, the trial began. An ready foregone conclusion,
Celebrities, politicians and galaxy-brained representatives of a certain community rejoiced at the guilty verdict, but some went a little too far. And some went too far, even before the jury had delivered their verdict. Resulting in the current situation of Delboy currently awaiting sentencing pending the outcome of a requested retrial.
It took all officers to hold him down.
Delboy adopted the textbook prone knee hold to the man to restrict his maneuverability. The man continued to shout and make the same claims he had been making for the previous 30 minutes. Delboy asked his colleagues to call paramedics as the man was complaining of medical issues.
When the paramedics arrived, the man's heart had stopped beating. It was later found that he had ingested a large amount of fentanyl, which had strained his already diseased heart.
The man was pronounced dead some time later. This event would ensure that Delboy's name would be etched into the publics memory for quite some time to come. Delboy was charged for his claimed misconduct and placed under arrest. What followed was months of backlash, rioting, looting, destruction of property, arson, rape and murder, mostly by a certain group of people, in reaction to the occurrence.
A year later, the riots still ongoing in some cities, the trial began. An ready foregone conclusion,
Celebrities, politicians and galaxy-brained representatives of a certain community rejoiced at the guilty verdict, but some went a little too far. And some went too far, even before the jury had delivered their verdict. Resulting in the current situation of Delboy currently awaiting sentencing pending the outcome of a requested retrial.
Morris: You always go too far and Delboy Chauvin the situation.
Brookes: I didn't mean to it just escalated and went somewhere it shouldn't have.
Morris: I guess it was kinda my fault to begin with, not really yours for having to Delboy Chauvin me.
Brookes: I didn't mean to it just escalated and went somewhere it shouldn't have.
Morris: I guess it was kinda my fault to begin with, not really yours for having to Delboy Chauvin me.
by TheSaltergeist May 15, 2021
Get the Delboy Chauvinmug.