Definitions by The Wild Weston

Columbus 

A city in Ohio with a hyperactive towing crew just lying in wait so they can snatch up your car the moment you break down and impound it so you have to spend extra time retrieving it even though you were just passing through and stopped briefly but now you're stuck for three days and not only need to pay to get your car back from the thieves who are the town, but need to also have your car repaired afterwards.

Hey, man. Whatever you do, do not stop in Columbus.

Columbus by The Wild Weston March 18, 2023

Illiterate

Every person who submits a word definition into Urban Dictionary.

Man, the people who write these definitions are freaking illiterate!

Illiterate by The Wild Weston March 10, 2023

David Wise 

One of the greatest music producers of all time responsible for creating many peoples' childhoods and the genius behind the greatest track ever, Stickerbush Symphony.

David Wise is the best.

David Wise by The Wild Weston March 3, 2022

New York

1. An American state that, believe it or not, consists primarily of country fields, mountains, and forests. New York City is not all of New York, it's like 0.01% The Finger Lakes are where you want to be.

2. The state name that appears under "I *heart*" on someone's shirt who's never been to New York in their life.

3. A state that is geographically ideal and full of parks and beauty, but politically a cesspool that drives lifelong residents out.

Ellie: "You coming to New York tomorrow?"
Adam: "You never mentioned anything about New York before. You going to Manhattan?"
Ellie: "Heck, no. The Finger Lakes Region. I'm going to see the Corning Museum of Glass."

New York by The Wild Weston March 3, 2022

The Big Apple 

A term that people who have never been to New York use to refer to New York that New Yorkers themselves never use.

"Ah, you're from The Big Apple."

The Big Apple by The Wild Weston March 3, 2022

Christina Grimmie 

An adorable girl you want to marry.

"She was my Christina Grimmie."

Christina Grimmie by The Wild Weston March 3, 2022

Ellie Goulding 

The most beautiful woman God ever created.

"See that girl over there? What an Ellie Goulding!"

Ellie Goulding by The Wild Weston March 3, 2022