Dave: “The Dangly State seems replete with biscuit-brainers.”
Trev: “Well, you know what they say … all the nuts roll downhill!”
Trev: “Well, you know what they say … all the nuts roll downhill!”
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
Any of a number of techniques known to only a scarce few (in some instances, just The Handyman) that will simplify any given task whilst working on projects in the Shop. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
Adoring Fan: “Oh, Handyman, how did you become so incredibly knowledgeable in the handy arts?”
The Handyman: “Ever since I was in diapees, I’ve been formulatin’ and calculatin’ to come up with the best shortcuts for just about anything handy. I refer to each pearl of woody wisdom in my handy bag of tricks as a Shop-Hack.”
The Handyman: “Ever since I was in diapees, I’ve been formulatin’ and calculatin’ to come up with the best shortcuts for just about anything handy. I refer to each pearl of woody wisdom in my handy bag of tricks as a Shop-Hack.”
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
Someone who always underestimates the time necessary to complete a task or project. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
“Linda only scheduled three hours to shoot our first corporate video. What a frickin’ chronoptimist.”
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
To hack off choice bits of one or more existing items and then attach them to a new project, thereby bending them to suit your own requirements (diabolic or not). No gothic castles, fortuitously-timed electrical storms or god complexes required for this kind of assembly. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web TV show.
"To build your own awesome and inexpensive jib boom, you’ll need to frankenstein parts from an existing tripod and an L-bracket. With mad skills, all things are possible."
by The Handy Writer May 09, 2009
A scaled measurement (1-10) judging how far one’s undies have crept up one’s crack (a potentially debilitating condition which can result from any activity that involves bending, crouching or squatting, and is usually coupled with the exposure of butt cleavage). Scores on this scale must not be issued or proclaimed by novices or cheese factor enthusiasts due to the extraordinary variations in the kinds and sizes of undergarments, necessitating weighted metrics for accurate judgments. For example, traditional Mormon unmentionables are so baggy they rarely bunch, so scores higher than 4 are only possible if said handy Mormons are morbidly obese. Conversely, butt-flossies (thongs) garner at least an 8 rating without one even budging off the couch. A Cheese Factor of 10 (otherwise known as Imminent Endangerment) represents a frightening creepage scenario which might best be replicated by sitting on a vertical pencil and taking a direct hit, if you know what we mean. The momentarily intractable situation of a Cheese Factor 10 may require hospitalization or, at the very least, the full tugging might of your spouse, significant other, or a hastily constructed series of pulleys, weights and some type of wardrobe hook. Eww. This scale is employed when describing the potential outcome of an upcoming task. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web TV show.
by The Handy Writer May 09, 2009