19 definitions by Terry Deary
v. inf. A common phrase used to describe the occasion of a man suddenly producing his penis, often when completely unexpected and for no reason whatsoever.
Jim: See the game last night?
Dave: Yeah, United were unlucky to lose.
Jim: Think they'll sack the manager now?
Dave: They might have to. What do you think Gary?
*Gary whips it out*
Dave: Yeah, United were unlucky to lose.
Jim: Think they'll sack the manager now?
Dave: They might have to. What do you think Gary?
*Gary whips it out*
by Terry Deary May 28, 2005
n./adj. (Scot. pron. "baw goggles") A deviant sexual practice wherein one covers his partner's eyes with his clockweights. Most probably popularised due to the humiliation factor for the blinded partner.
I couldn't believe my luck when my girlfriend's sister asked me to give her a pair of ball goggles for her birthday!
by Terry Deary August 29, 2006
n. British rhyming slang for the popular and very strong (5.2% abv) Belgian lager, Stella Artois. Generally used by the politically-correct or mild-mannered public house frequenteur, because the better-known synonym for Stella Artois in the UK is wifebeater.
Barman: What'll it be?
Barfly 1: What's cheap?
Barman: Carling, Foster's...
Barfly 2: Don't get cheap on me, you tightwad! Two pint of Bella, please.
Barfly 1: What's cheap?
Barman: Carling, Foster's...
Barfly 2: Don't get cheap on me, you tightwad! Two pint of Bella, please.
by Terry Deary December 7, 2006
v./n. inf(!) to unexpectedly penetrate someone's anus; often, of a heterosexual couple engaged in doggy style intercourse, when the male withdraws from the vagina, and hilariously re-inserts into the anus without prior warning.
NOT to be confused with the equally amusing Cadbury Surprise.
NOT to be confused with the equally amusing Cadbury Surprise.
Betty: ... but then, as I... as I was about to... come, for some reason he pulled out... and then... *breaks down sobbing* he.. he put it... oh god! *sobs uncontrolably*
Psychiatrist 1: He gave you a BACKDOOR SURPRISE!? What a guy!!!
*hi-fives Psychiatrist 2*
Psychiatrist 2: Man, that is awesome!
Psychiatrist 1: He gave you a BACKDOOR SURPRISE!? What a guy!!!
*hi-fives Psychiatrist 2*
Psychiatrist 2: Man, that is awesome!
by Terry Deary February 24, 2006
by Terry Deary May 29, 2005
v. to 'beef' with someone's mind; could be brainwashing, confusing, disorienting etc etc.
n. a 'mindbeef' (the act of mindbeefing); either 1. a tactic of confusing or 'psyching out' someone, or 2. (inf.) to skull-fuck; vigourous oral sex
n. a 'mindbeef' (the act of mindbeefing); either 1. a tactic of confusing or 'psyching out' someone, or 2. (inf.) to skull-fuck; vigourous oral sex
Frank: I had sex with your mother last night.
Dave: Stop beefing with my mind!
(At the prison showers)
Bubba: You gettin' mindbeef'd faggot
Weiner doing time for income tax evasion: Gulp!
Dave: Stop beefing with my mind!
(At the prison showers)
Bubba: You gettin' mindbeef'd faggot
Weiner doing time for income tax evasion: Gulp!
by Terry Deary May 29, 2005
n. Of a human, the orifice which excretes waste, most probably due to the semi-resemblance to the closed eye of an Oriental person. The brown eye, the ringpiece, the rusty sherrif's badge.
Dr. Proctor: Now Mrs. Jones, what seems to be the problem?
Mrs. Jones: I'm having trouble passing solids, doc.
Dr. Proctor: I see. Now, Mrs. Jones, if you could remove your undergarments and bend over, please.
Mrs. Jones: Is everything okay, doctor?
Dr. Proctor: Mrs. Jones, I must prescribe a daily course of backdoor surprises immediately, your winking chink's eye is as tight as a corset string.
Mrs. Jones: I'm having trouble passing solids, doc.
Dr. Proctor: I see. Now, Mrs. Jones, if you could remove your undergarments and bend over, please.
Mrs. Jones: Is everything okay, doctor?
Dr. Proctor: Mrs. Jones, I must prescribe a daily course of backdoor surprises immediately, your winking chink's eye is as tight as a corset string.
by Terry Deary February 24, 2006