Awesomeocalypse

When to many awesome things are combined causing a tear in the fabric of space/time and the subsequent annihilation of the known universe. Note: possible source for the "Big Bang"

Dude: "Watch this; I'm gonna paste a pic of Chuck Norris on this T. Rex having a lightsaber duel with LOL cat on top of a stealth bomber with the "your awesome" dog being the ref....."
Dudette: "NO!" as she pushes him away from the keyboard
Dudette: "You could have started an Awesomeocalypse!"
Dude: "Duuuudddeeee.....sorry.....to much awesomeness"

by TedDeadMan August 16, 2010

Strategic Incompetence

Purposely performing a task so poorly as to discourage being assigned this task again, but not poorly enough to be fired

Cube Dweller1: Dude, writing the weekly report is a sucky job; how do I get out of it?

Cube Dweller2: Just screw up some people's names and swap some people's tasks, nobody will want you to do it again

Cube Dweller1: Ahh....Strategic Incompetence....a fine idea....my inner slacker is jumping for joy!

by TedDeadMan September 04, 2009

Eat Your Face Off

Verb: to eat huge quantities of delicious food for the pure joy of eating

Commonly used by dieters and college students

Dieter 1: Hey, where are you going to take a vacation to this year?

Dieter 2: Thinkin bout a cruise

Dieter 1: Dude! You could so Eat Your Face Off at the sick buffets

Dieter 2: Rock on!

by TedDeadMan January 22, 2010

Nerd Tax

The premium paid for having the newest and most powerful computers and electronics

Dude: Nice computer, pretty tricked out
Nerd: Yeah, its got a 6x core overlclocked water cooled processer with 4 GPUs and a solid state drive. Gets me 3 more frames per second !
Dude: Whoa, how much that set you back
Nerd: Bout $7k
Dude: Dude...that is some serious Nerd Tax

by TedDeadMan July 05, 2010

Stealth Delegation

Act of transfering a duty or task to a worker not actually in the chain of command of the assigner, always without knowlege of the worker's superior. Normally done to seem like a promotion or reward for the worker but really is a way to pawn of unwanted work. Dutiful worker sets precident of doing the work before his boss finds out and thus it becomes a permanent part of the worker's duties.
Useful when strategic incompetence is unsucessful.
A required skill in today's corporate world

Accountant: Dude - your so great I'm gonna award you the Data Collection Champion position
Drone 1: Whoa, I'm stoked, a promotion; what do I do
Accountant: Oh, lots of things, like collect all receipts and invoices and turn them in to me each month - very important

Drone 1: Awesome, I'm moving up!
Accountant: One other thing, I don't want anyone to get jealous of your new work so don't tell your boss, he might try to keep you down, and keep doing all your other great work
Drone 1: Rock-On.....like spy work
Drone 2: Duuuude...you just got stealth delegation 'd

by TedDeadMan July 11, 2011

MeToo Product

A product that is much like another so as to be indistinguishable as far as value, features...etc.

A product lacking special features or abilities above its competitors. Usually mass produced crap from the usual sources of unimaginative designers and manufacturers.

Stop looking at all those MeToo Product knives and check out this kickin Leatherman Multitool; never know when you will need to pick your teeth, saw a log and fend off a bear all at the same time!

by TedDeadMan January 25, 2011

BoMF

Bowel Movement Food: Food you eat to gut unplugged after getting stopped up. Normally high fiber or trigger foods for your bowels to do their business. Important part of the food pyramid for bingers of cheese, meat and bread....

Slacker: "Dude, after eating 2 lbs of cheese sticks dipped in queso I need some BoMF"
Slackerette:"Here's a fiber bar, ear of corn and a box of bran cereal"
Slacker: "Sweeeettt, my bowels will be movin to the groove in no time"

by TedDeadMan June 29, 2011