Jizzard

When you haven’t busted a nut in several days/weeks, due to being sick, too busy with work, or just flat out dumb. The next load that gets dropped will be whiter than a White Christmas. Make sure to wear goggles…
Big Easy: Yo Stone dog, how’s the weather treating ya?

Stoney: Pretty decent, but there’s a chance of hail this weekend where I’m at. I’ve been sick all week and haven’t yanked my money in a bit, so a Jizzard is incuming. The next load I drop might cause an avalanche.

Big Easy: Damn, lmk how that works out for ya. Might have to give that a try sometime.
by Stoney69 November 24, 2023
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Misery Loves Cumpoony

So you’re having a bad day. What better way to improve the day than to play a joke on someone and make them miserable too? This gag starts by dropping a steamy snickers along with a cream pie in the punch bowl and then dropping an object of importance right next to the toilet. You must now come up with an excuse to make someone else retrieve the item (eg: I threw out my back last night bc Bill Cosby pounded my spinky so good. Could you please help me?). If timed correctly, when the poor lad goes to pick up the item, the toilet will auto flush and the creamy mudpie will splatter onto his face like a child trying to eat a cream filled donut.
Tyrant: Dude I took the kids swimming yesterday. It was a nice day.

Big Easy: Glad you had a nice day, my day was miserable. I went to the shitter and decided to pump and dump. Then told buhl I needed him to pick something up for me. When he went to bend over the toilet flushed at the perfect time and he got mollywhopped by my Boston cream pie. You know what they say, “misery loves cumpoony”.

Tyrant: You need to see a psychiatrist.
by Stoney69 August 29, 2019
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Ground Pound

This is similar to the move in the Mario Brother’s games and can be preformed by either a woman or a man. If a woman is performing, she jumps from a perched location and tries to land her cooch right on the man’s wang. If the man is performing, he attempts to achieve a hole in one in the woman’s snatch. Failure to penetrate = unimaginable pain and possibly an ER visit.
Tyrant: Yo big easy, why didn’t you come golfing yesterday?

Big Easy: Dawg, my dick is broken. I attempted a Ground Pound on my wife, and I totally missed. My dick ran right into the ground, and now it’s more purple than a rotten eggplant.

Tyrant: Just rub some neosporin on it and you should be fine.
by Stoney69 June 28, 2019
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Merry Clitmas

This one can be very tricky, so fasten your sleigh belts. Step 1: Dress up like Santa clause. Step 2: Fit your way down someone’s chimney. Step 3: This involves some luck. The hope is that you landed in a house with a hot hoe hoe hoe and a sleeping husband. The hoe has had too much to drink so she wonders her way downstairs when she hears a loud bang. Thinking you are her husband, she de-clothes herself and sneaks up on you. Step 4: Proceed to pound the hoe hoe’s fruit cake until it has enough whipped topping. Step 5: Flick her bean, and yell “Merry Clitmas”. Step 6: Get the hell outta there. Her husband has probably awoken by now and is sprinting down the steps with his shotgun ready to blow your meat missile off to Jupiter... **kinky**
Tyrant: Bro how was your Christmas?

Big Easy: It was pretty eventful. I sharted multiple times and had a five dollar footlong for breakfast. Hbu?

Tyrant: Boy I’ll tell ya I had an amazing Christmas! Almost didn’t make it out alive. Long story short, I went to some hoe’s house and popped her cherry. Then I yelled Merry Clitmas and booked it outta there. I think her dad was coming to teach me a lesson. Turns out he was a cop, so good thing I high tailed it outta there.

Big Easy: Damn I wish I was as cool as you.
by Stoney69 December 24, 2019
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Bobbing for Crapples

This fun event takes place when your partner is experiencing Sleep Crapnea (See Sleep Crapnea). You must stick your head into their mouth and carefully remove the crapples with your teeth. You must be discreet, as you do not want your partner to wake and discover the whorrendous mess you have left them in.

Side Note: If you would like to continue the fun, after you bob one of the crapples from your partner’s mouth, you can gently lay it on his or her chest and perform a good ol’ Cleveland Steamer.
Tyrant: My dude, you coming to the bar tonight with us?

Big Easy: Nah my dawg, I went bobbing for crapples last night. My wife was choking from the logs I dropped in her mouth so I had to bob them out. Got a little greedy and went for a Cleveland streamer and she woke up steaming. Told her I was sleepwalking again and thought I was waxing my car. Needless to say she kicked me out this time.
by Stoney69 June 19, 2019
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Genital Slurpees

Usually acquired at the back of a 7-Eleven store from some raunchy skank. The skank will pour a highly coveted 7-Eleven slurpee on her crotch and the man will slurp it up like a vacuum cleaner. Most likely will receive herpes after this infamous act as the skank provides genital slurpees to just about every dude in town.
Mike: Dude I could really go for a 7-Eleven hot dog and slurpee right now. Those things are legendary.

Stoney: Better yet, go behind the 7-Eleven and the token skank will supply you with some genital slurpees. Real succulent, but be careful you don’t wanna get the herps.

Mike: Dude I’ve had several of those before, I didn’t know that’s what they were called!
by Stoney69 January 27, 2019
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Your hoe is pissed about her rear end shitsplosion you caused, so she kicked you outta the house. So you’re drivin’ in yo car and you gotta rip a nasty one. You’re stuck in traffic so you go to squeeze out some gas. You put your windows down and the smell is so potent that the driver behind you becomes incapacitated and rear ends you. Surprise surprise, out comes poo. Karma is a smelly SOB.
Ty: Yo Bro you finna finish your story bout the splosion you caused?

Biggy: Yea Bro, so my wife kicked me outta the house and I went on a drive to blow off some steam. The Taco Bell I had last week finally hit my b-hole, so I went to rip some air and it smelled horrible. Went to put my windows down cuz I couldn’t breathe and it must have flown right into the nostrils of the buhl behind me. Dude ended up rear ending me (with his car) and I was so surprised, a Rear End Shitsplosion: Part 2 took place. Guess karma got the best of me.

Ty: I envy your life.
by Stoney69 December 22, 2020
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