15 definition by Steve CHUTER

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Convoy-cock. Military term describing the hard-on you often get when you're in the back of an army lorry (or bus) rumbling down roads on your way to some military activity.
Jones, wipe that silly smile off your face!
Can't sir
Why not?
Convoy-cock sir
Oh, fair one.
by Steve CHUTER November 22, 2006

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Nubbits are piss-flaps.
She ad' nubbits like John Waynes saddle-bags!
by Steve CHUTER November 28, 2006

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to look at,watch,survey
"Could you shoof the baby while I roll a spliff love?"
by Steve CHUTER November 03, 2006

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The fuck-factor is the unexpected,although sometimes inevitable hitch,X factor or just the bad-luck part of for example,a plan.
The wifes'on nights,the kids are staying at grannies'.You ring your mistress, in ten minutes shes'there. Great dope, wonderful champagne unforgetable dirty, dirty,sex and my god "its half six already"..... bottles,dildoes, roaches, sperm stains..... NOTHING MUST BE FORGOTTEN!!!
Mistress out the door. Windows opened,dog-breath... done,tuna-fish willy.....ready for inspection..... THIS IS GOING TO WORK!!!!
(20 MINUTES LATER)
"Hi honey how'd work go?"
"Oh fine, but I gotta take a shower!"
"Sure babes', I'll put the coffee on".........(exit wife)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! YOU BASTARD, YOU FUCKING TWO TIMING LOW LIFE SON OF A BITCH!!!!Shit, babes what did I do????
Which brings me back to the fuck-factor.
IF YOUR MISTRESS USES A TAMPAX AND SHE DROPS ONE IN YOUR SHITTER ..... DON'T FORGET TO PULL THE CHAIN GUYS.



by Steve CHUTER November 07, 2006

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Originally a chidren's TV programme(BBC late sixties) about a neanderthol type person found to be living in a cave at the bottom of some childs garden Describes a dirty,scruffy or very unkempt person.
Have you seen the state of his flat, he's a right stig of the dump.
by Steve CHUTER November 03, 2006

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Army-barmy is when a squaddie is so obsessed and in love with the army and military things in general that his entire life revolves around being cammed up,ops,and generally ready to mangle,strangle,stab,shoot or shag anything or anyone, with, and possibly without, a pulse.Not just being content to keep these awe-inspiring facts to himself he will persist in droning on for hours and hours about his impressive knowledge of the martial art thus boring shitless his family,friends and neighbours.The ROYAL MARINES and the PARA-REG are famous for this affliction.
My brother became army-barmy after joining the guards,his wife once told me (after we'd being shagging one day)that even on their honey-moon he'd insist on inspecting her feet for blisters before bed and in the morning he'd wake her up with bucket of cold water and an enthousiastic "Hands off cocks, on socks!"
by Steve CHUTER November 27, 2006

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greased weasel shit is FAST,VERY FAST.
If those mothers open fire ,we fire back and faster than greased weasel shit!!!!
by Steve CHUTER November 07, 2006

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