you don’t say, Beyoncé?

the absolutely best way to respond to all of your girlfriend’s observations

Though not totally listening to what was probably a super important thing she was talking about, I respectfully replied, “You don’t say, Beyoncé?”

by Squirrel Rito February 25, 2021

Fund the Police

Ice Cube in 2020 if he was poor and unfamous.

“Fund the Police!,” Ice Cube rapped, logically, as a rational adult.

by Squirrel Rito February 25, 2021

Bad Hobbit

A bad hobbit is easier to kick
than a bad habit.

Tried to kick a bad habit by moving to New Zealand, but ended up kicking a bad hobbit way sooner.

by Squirrel Rito February 25, 2021

Sir, yes, Sir!

Every time I ask somebody for the answer, I get the wrong answer.

Every time I ask somebody for the answer, I get the wrong answer. “Sir, yes, Sir!” (me as I’m saluting)

by Squirrel Rito February 25, 2021

Covid slow kids

So-called smart people who are obsessed with Covid-19 precautions and spend all their time worrying about catching it, & who criticize anyone who is not as obsessed and fearful about catching Covid-19 as they are.

According to the Covid slow kids, only a horrible person would go to a funeral for a loved one or attend any event for any reason when they’re all just ways for the virus to spread.

by Squirrel Rito January 03, 2021

face diaper

A piece of cloth covering the nose and mouth worn by people to protect themselves and others from the unproven to exist, and even if it was real, 99% harmless Covid-19 virus (formerly known as the common cold).

The mask they wear serves the purpose of a face diaper and nothing else. It virtue signals and keeps one from being harassed, possibly but it does not protect anyone from Covid-19, etc.. Technically, one can’t talk shit & be heard when their voice is muffled. Because science.

by Squirrel Rito January 04, 2021

a million pains

She’s a million pains. (not as in singular)

She’s not just a pain in my ass, as in singular. She’s a million pains.

by Squirrel Rito February 25, 2021