Sir Bartholomew McTavish's definitions

bend a quack

Bending over when releasing a giant fart.

MAN#1: Look at that old lady, I bet she's going to bend a quack

MAN#2: No she's not, she just picking up her car keys.

OLD LADY: Excuse me young man, where are the toilets? I've just shat meself on account of the quack I just bent.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 25, 2010

bottom bollocks

Where a fit young girl has top bollocks, an older chesticularly gravity afflicted lady will have bottom bollocks.

1:)
Ricky: Bianca, can I touch your bottom bollocks?
Bianca: What are you trying to say? 'Ave I got saggy tits or sumfing?
Ricky: Well,I'd be lying if I said no, but they're still really nice and...OWW...wotchoo 'it me for you daft facking woman.

2:)
Lindsay Lohan, in 30 years.
Catherine Zeta, in 15 years.
Ellen Degeneres, now.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 1, 2009

Fartinate

That strange feeling when having an abnormally lengthy piddle when from nowhere a torrent of farts emanate from the anus.

Max: When I was having a slash a minute ago I'm sure I fartinated. Have you ever done that?
TERRENCE: Only when whizzing on your Mum
MAX: WHAT?!
TERRENCE: Nothing. got any pies?

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 3, 2008

wangelina

To gain a wang-on while watching her in any of her nude happy films. Gia, Womb Raider, actually what else is she in?

Man#1: You see that new Tomb Raider flick?
Man#2: You mean the one with Wangelina
Man#1: High Five! (They high five.) Yeah..!

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 9, 2008

baazing

When something really cool happens and no other words/phrases say it as well as.
Sometimes other words such as snap, wizard, awesome and boomshakalaka will do when baazing has been used too many times whilst watching Ladies Wimbledon or any fantastic lesbian threeway porno.

PATRICK: Sebastien, see that girl there by the photocopier?

SEBASTIEN: Yeah,that's Mark from Accounting's teenaged sister, I've heard she's harder to lay than a sixty foot Ostritch Egg.

PATRICK: Well I had some of that last night in the back of my Mazda.

SEBASTIEN: Baazing!

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish March 4, 2008

Ewan McFucker

Ewan McGreggor's character name from 'Angels and Demons' as opposed to the term Camerlengo, which although is Italian for 'Chamberlain', also happens to sound like a euphamism for someone's cock.

The character of Camerlengo Ewan McFucker will be played by none other than gay-icon Welsh actor, (trying to be Scottish) Ewan McGreggor, or as he's known to the whole universe, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish September 21, 2009

wankipediac

Someone, usually lazy wankers, who use Wikipedia to do homework, teachers to mark their student's coursework, politicians to find and pass dumb ass laws and what George Lucas looks at online all day while he makes $478.55 an hour doing fuck all.

Mum: Son, are you doing your homework?
Son: Yeah, I found the answers on the web
Dad: Fucking wankipediac.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 18, 2008