Definitions by Shepherd Guy
Religious Larperty
When atheistic or theocratic governments open state sponsored churches to pretend they have religious liberty even though they jail, torture, and execute any pastors they find inconvenient
Examples of religious larperty:
The Chinese government runs the Three Self Patriotic Movement, which doesn’t preach the word of Christ at all and only exists to promote loyalty to the CCP. Meanwhile they regularly imprison clergy of the underground church for life.
The North Korean government runs four churches in Pyongyang that nobody ever goes to in order to create the illusion of religious liberty to outsiders. If you’re actually caught with a real Bible there, you will almost certainly get executed.
There are a few Catholic, Anglican, St. Thomas, and Mormon churches in Qatar. But they’re only for international visitors and anyone who wants in has to show ID because indigenous Qataris are not allowed inside.
The Chinese government runs the Three Self Patriotic Movement, which doesn’t preach the word of Christ at all and only exists to promote loyalty to the CCP. Meanwhile they regularly imprison clergy of the underground church for life.
The North Korean government runs four churches in Pyongyang that nobody ever goes to in order to create the illusion of religious liberty to outsiders. If you’re actually caught with a real Bible there, you will almost certainly get executed.
There are a few Catholic, Anglican, St. Thomas, and Mormon churches in Qatar. But they’re only for international visitors and anyone who wants in has to show ID because indigenous Qataris are not allowed inside.
Religious Larperty by Shepherd Guy April 17, 2026
Clanker’s Block
Hilda: Claude, did you finish adding the images to your section of the project yet?
Claude: Sorry, Hilda- got Clanker’s Block again.
Claude: Sorry, Hilda- got Clanker’s Block again.
Clanker’s Block by Shepherd Guy April 12, 2026
Valentine’s Grinch
A Valentine’s Grinch is someone, almost exclusively single and often for a very long time, who hates Valentine’s Day and spends the entire day shitting on it.
Mwahahaha, it’s raining on Valentine’s Day! Look at how miserable all these couples are!
I am the biggest Valentine’s Grinch of them all. I hate Valentine’s Day so much.
I am the biggest Valentine’s Grinch of them all. I hate Valentine’s Day so much.
Valentine’s Grinch by Shepherd Guy February 17, 2026
Evanjargon
A dialect of cliche phrases and buzzwords used frequently in evangelical circles, much like business professionals using corporate jargon.
Some examples of evanjargon:
Be vulnerable: open up about struggles in life
Season of life: temporary circumstances
Baby Christian: recent convert
Discipleship: experience
Let go and let God: quit worrying about stuff
Trials: tough times
Brokenness: sin
Spiritual warfare: temptation to sin
Lukewarmness: apathy
Love on someone: to love someone, but creepier
Be vulnerable: open up about struggles in life
Season of life: temporary circumstances
Baby Christian: recent convert
Discipleship: experience
Let go and let God: quit worrying about stuff
Trials: tough times
Brokenness: sin
Spiritual warfare: temptation to sin
Lukewarmness: apathy
Love on someone: to love someone, but creepier
Evanjargon by Shepherd Guy January 13, 2026
Old Man Murray Test
The Old Man Murray test is a somewhat tongue in cheek way of judging how good a video game is. The test is to time how long it takes to spot a wooden crate anywhere in the game. The idea being, the less effort a studio puts into a game’s graphics and area design, the more likely they are to use wooden crates as decorations just to fill up space. Named after its creator, a hilariously sarcastic video game critic who lived in Austin during the 90s named Old Man Murray.
Various games and their scores on the Old Man Murray Test
Pokémon Legends ZA: 2 minutes
Final Fantasy VII: 7 minutes
Minecraft: There are no crates in the entire game
TF2: 5 to 30 seconds, depending which map you play first
Ocarina of Time: 30 minutes
Earthbound: 2 hours
Pokémon Legends ZA: 2 minutes
Final Fantasy VII: 7 minutes
Minecraft: There are no crates in the entire game
TF2: 5 to 30 seconds, depending which map you play first
Ocarina of Time: 30 minutes
Earthbound: 2 hours
Old Man Murray Test by Shepherd Guy December 27, 2025
Corporate Passive Aggressive
Examples of Corporate Passive Aggressive:
As per my previous email: Did you not read what I sent you?
Walk me through your thought process on this one: What were you thinking, you fool?
I’ve received feedback from your coworkers: Nobody likes you
This was identified early on as a possible outcome: I told you so
For future reference: How do you not already know this?
I’ve CC’d in your manager: You wanna say that shit in front of Steve?
We’ve decided to separate your employment: you’re fired
As per my previous email: Did you not read what I sent you?
Walk me through your thought process on this one: What were you thinking, you fool?
I’ve received feedback from your coworkers: Nobody likes you
This was identified early on as a possible outcome: I told you so
For future reference: How do you not already know this?
I’ve CC’d in your manager: You wanna say that shit in front of Steve?
We’ve decided to separate your employment: you’re fired
Corporate Passive Aggressive by Shepherd Guy December 19, 2025
Stickman Youtuber
Stickman YouTubers give commentary and/or tell stories using stick figure characters. Oftentimes their stories revolve around school, work, nostalgia, online trends, or other common human experiences. Usually they’re young, typically under 25, and they use a lot of TikTok/Gen Z slang.
Stickman Youtuber by Shepherd Guy December 18, 2025