Definitions by Sharks V. Neti

Seltzaholic

An individual suffering from seltzaholism. Seltzaholism is a disorder characterized by the excessive consumption of and dependence on seltzer, leading to impaired social and vocational functioning, and the development of withdrawal symptoms upon reduced intake.

After years of maladaptive seltzer consumption, the seltzaholic succumbed to effervescence of the liver.

Desperate for a fix, the seltzaholics arm-wrestled over the last bottle of grapefruit seltzer.

Seltzaholic by Sharks V. Neti April 21, 2009

Netiphobia 

The fear of nasal irrigation, as practiced by jamming a diminutive watering can into one nostril, and angling the head to promote the flow of solution out of the fellow nostril. Blech.

Because I suffer from netiphobia, I will never again look at a teapot or watering can with affection.

Armed with the knowledge of my netiphobia, the villain tortured me with youtube videos of people using their neti pots.

Netiphobia by Sharks V. Neti March 10, 2009