Scotty Nice's definitions

Tijuana Sushi

When you pull into port in the Coast Guard and attend a “gentlemen’s club” and proceed to get shitfaced and eat the backside of a whore, coating your face in wet slimy bacteria filled pussy and ass juice.

Yo I got so drunk at Senorita Slippy’s last night in port and this whore Trudie backed her ass and pussy in my face. I ate the shit out of it and It was like eating some spoiled Tijuana sushi.

by Scotty Nice October 25, 2019

Turkey day votive

When you invite a gay midget to Thanksgiving and indicate which guest’s dick he’s supposed to suck by placing a lit votive under the chair of said “getter” of the fellatio.

I had the weirdest thanksgiving experience yesterday. There was a game called Turkey Day votive and basically they hired a midget to suck a random guest’s dick. It was crazy but I really enjoyed the BJ.

by Scotty Nice November 28, 2024

Robert O'Neill

The first time having sex with your girlfriend. You have meticulously planned every part of the event down to the most minute detail. It finally happens and it is executed with perfection, though your mind was hazy, and all you know is that it ended with a head shot.

I finally had sex with Trudie last night. It ended up being a Robert O'Neill, but it was great and I can't wait to do it again.

by Scotty Nice December 11, 2019

Open Door policy

When your wife is in the shower and you want a quickie, but don’t want to get wet. You open the shower door and she shimmies backwards to the opening, allowing you to do your deed without getting drenched.

Yesterday Trudie was in the shower and I was already dressed, so I called open door policy and got it from behind without getting wet.

by Scotty Nice December 11, 2019

Stiff as a Ball

When you see someone hitting a golf ball and you feel bad for them because you assume they have prosthetic legs. Their ability to flex and move their lower extremities is so bad that you imagine they were hit by a train as a child or had polio because their parents were anti-vaxxers.

So I was watching this guy tee off the other day and I felt so sad thinking of what happened to them as a child. Then I watched them walk away and it was perfectly normal. He was stiff as a ball hitting a golf shot, but walked fine. Really bizarre, must be at least a 10 handicap without an actual handicap.

by Scotty Nice July 27, 2023

Christine's cum filled Cribbage

When a man is able to achieve his three greatest pleasures in one sitting by reading a Stephen King novel, playing online cribbage and having your butthole filled with man mayo.

I was talking to my buddy and learned he loves three things - reading Stephen King novels, playing cribbage and getting butt fucked. He then proceeded to tell me for some reason that after he got home one night and his family was out of town, he picked up and started to read Christine by Stephen King, played online cribbage and then had a male prostitute given him a prostate exam with his erect wiener. He succeeded in getting Christine's cum filled Cribbage. Wild stuff.

by Scotty Nice October 18, 2023

Triple Dog Dip

When you are banging a hoe who allows the butt and you start in the puss, then slide it between the buns, only to return it to the puss again. The hoe then inevitably gets a yeast infection from the anus bacteria in her hoo ha.

I was mad at Trudie last weekend because she was flirting with some other dude, so I gave her the Triple Dog Dip and she got a yeast infection. F that hoe.

by Scotty Nice November 6, 2019