Scotty Nice's definitions
When you pull into port in the Coast Guard and attend a “gentlemen’s club” and proceed to get shitfaced and eat the backside of a whore, coating your face in wet slimy bacteria filled pussy and ass juice.
Yo I got so drunk at Senorita Slippy’s last night in port and this whore Trudie backed her ass and pussy in my face. I ate the shit out of it and It was like eating some spoiled Tijuana sushi.
by Scotty Nice October 25, 2019
Get the Tijuana Sushi mug.As a firefighter you respond to an scene where a Polish man who speaks no English is pointing toward his backside indicating pain. The 14 year old girl next door speaks English and translates for you.
Excuse me, 14 year old girl. Can you tell us what he’s saying? In broken English she responds, “He says he has a pencil stuck up his bum.” Ah, a polish pencil push, never get tired of seeing this.
by Scotty Nice January 14, 2021
Get the Polish pencil push mug.When your wife is in the shower and you want a quickie, but don’t want to get wet. You open the shower door and she shimmies backwards to the opening, allowing you to do your deed without getting drenched.
Yesterday Trudie was in the shower and I was already dressed, so I called open door policy and got it from behind without getting wet.
by Scotty Nice December 11, 2019
Get the Open Door policy mug.The first time having sex with your girlfriend. You have meticulously planned every part of the event down to the most minute detail. It finally happens and it is executed with perfection, though your mind was hazy, and all you know is that it ended with a head shot.
I finally had sex with Trudie last night. It ended up being a Robert O'Neill, but it was great and I can't wait to do it again.
by Scotty Nice December 11, 2019
Get the Robert O'Neill mug.When your Irish buddy and you go to the park after dark after hitting puberty to jerk off and you end up behind the same bush by accident. He then asks you for assistance with his stiffy.
by Scotty Nice January 14, 2021
Get the McLend me a Hand mug.When you see someone hitting a golf ball and you feel bad for them because you assume they have prosthetic legs. Their ability to flex and move their lower extremities is so bad that you imagine they were hit by a train as a child or had polio because their parents were anti-vaxxers.
So I was watching this guy tee off the other day and I felt so sad thinking of what happened to them as a child. Then I watched them walk away and it was perfectly normal. He was stiff as a ball hitting a golf shot, but walked fine. Really bizarre, must be at least a 10 handicap without an actual handicap.
by Scotty Nice July 27, 2023
Get the Stiff as a Ball mug.When a man is able to achieve his three greatest pleasures in one sitting by reading a Stephen King novel, playing online cribbage and having your butthole filled with man mayo.
I was talking to my buddy and learned he loves three things - reading Stephen King novels, playing cribbage and getting butt fucked. He then proceeded to tell me for some reason that after he got home one night and his family was out of town, he picked up and started to read Christine by Stephen King, played online cribbage and then had a male prostitute given him a prostate exam with his erect wiener. He succeeded in getting Christine's cum filled Cribbage. Wild stuff.
by Scotty Nice October 18, 2023
Get the Christine's cum filled Cribbage mug.