Scotty Nice's definitions
When your Irish buddy and you go to the park after dark after hitting puberty to jerk off and you end up behind the same bush by accident. He then asks you for assistance with his stiffy.
by Scotty Nice January 14, 2021
Get the McLend me a Hand mug.When you see someone hitting a golf ball and you feel bad for them because you assume they have prosthetic legs. Their ability to flex and move their lower extremities is so bad that you imagine they were hit by a train as a child or had polio because their parents were anti-vaxxers.
So I was watching this guy tee off the other day and I felt so sad thinking of what happened to them as a child. Then I watched them walk away and it was perfectly normal. He was stiff as a ball hitting a golf shot, but walked fine. Really bizarre, must be at least a 10 handicap without an actual handicap.
by Scotty Nice July 27, 2023
Get the Stiff as a Ball mug.When you take your family to the magical world of Disney and spend five days in scorching ball dripping heat, getting run over by heifers in electric scooters and spending more than half your salary on Mickey shaped treats while getting in two rides a day and all you come away with is a hat with a picture of that mother fucker on the front.
My husband was so angry when we were finally leaving Disney that to commemorate the financial destruction we had just gone though he decided to buy one last thing, Mickey’s hat of despair. I’m not sure we will ever recover.
by Scotty Nice June 16, 2023
Get the Mickey’s hat of despair mug.A former woman whose last name was Tanner who got sober and realized she was a man inside. Ms. Tanner then took hormones, grew a beard and changed her first name to Tanner in an attempt to fool the members of her local golf course. After fleecing her for her life savings they allowed “him” to play from the ladies tees.
I played Tanner Tranner from the men’s tees yesterday and won all of “their” paycheck from last week.
by Scotty Nice November 20, 2019
Get the Tanner Tranner mug.An extremely large human, some may even say a goon, that is whiter than baby powder that has a high tolerance for being insulted, until they don’t. When an Arnglo Saxon hits their breaking point, their special ed strength bursts and is capable of tearing a smaller human’s legs and arms off in less than a minute.
I was giving Wayne a bunch of shit on the course and he almost went over the edge, but I calmed him down with some Belvitas. If he had gone Arnglo Saxon I would’ve been killed.
by Scotty Nice January 30, 2021
Get the Arnglo Saxon mug.The first time having sex with your girlfriend. You have meticulously planned every part of the event down to the most minute detail. It finally happens and it is executed with perfection, though your mind was hazy, and all you know is that it ended with a head shot.
I finally had sex with Trudie last night. It ended up being a Robert O'Neill, but it was great and I can't wait to do it again.
by Scotty Nice December 11, 2019
Get the Robert O'Neill mug.When your wife is in the shower and you want a quickie, but don’t want to get wet. You open the shower door and she shimmies backwards to the opening, allowing you to do your deed without getting drenched.
Yesterday Trudie was in the shower and I was already dressed, so I called open door policy and got it from behind without getting wet.
by Scotty Nice December 11, 2019
Get the Open Door policy mug.