Scotty Nice's definitions
A drink invented by your golf buddy that has double the alcohol content of a Long Island Iced Tea and garnished with his favorite flower, the Peony. It was created because his wife gets turned on by wearing a strap on and anally penetrating him. He gets embarrassed so he needs to get intoxicated to do it, even though it turns him on, as well.
Hey Bryan, want to go grab a beer tonight after golf? Sure thing, if you want to go with me to the Tailgate Tavern while I pound a couple Peony Pushes. Trudie wants to do the thing we do tonight and I need to get lubed up, in more ways than one.
by Scotty Nice December 11, 2020

As a firefighter you respond to an scene where a Polish man who speaks no English is pointing toward his backside indicating pain. The 14 year old girl next door speaks English and translates for you.
Excuse me, 14 year old girl. Can you tell us what he’s saying? In broken English she responds, “He says he has a pencil stuck up his bum.” Ah, a polish pencil push, never get tired of seeing this.
by Scotty Nice January 14, 2021

The first time having sex with your girlfriend. You have meticulously planned every part of the event down to the most minute detail. It finally happens and it is executed with perfection, though your mind was hazy, and all you know is that it ended with a head shot.
I finally had sex with Trudie last night. It ended up being a Robert O'Neill, but it was great and I can't wait to do it again.
by Scotty Nice December 11, 2019

When you invite a gay midget to Thanksgiving and indicate which guest’s dick he’s supposed to suck by placing a lit votive under the chair of said “getter” of the fellatio.
I had the weirdest thanksgiving experience yesterday. There was a game called Turkey Day votive and basically they hired a midget to suck a random guest’s dick. It was crazy but I really enjoyed the BJ.
by Scotty Nice November 28, 2024

When your older male friend can no longer see out of his left eye because of receiving a high speed shot of ejaculate directly to his eyeball during his sexual experimentation days. The eye survives for several years until the effect of the impact makes it such that glasses can no longer serve a beneficial purpose.
Damn I got a hummer from that MILF Trudie last night and I'd been saving up my load all week. She didn't want to swallow so when I was about to finish I blasted my goo so hard at her eye I doubt she will be able to see in a few years. She gonna have that Lopey Left Eye.
by Scotty Nice May 16, 2023

When you pull into port in the Coast Guard and attend a “gentlemen’s club” and proceed to get shitfaced and eat the backside of a whore, coating your face in wet slimy bacteria filled pussy and ass juice.
Yo I got so drunk at Senorita Slippy’s last night in port and this whore Trudie backed her ass and pussy in my face. I ate the shit out of it and It was like eating some spoiled Tijuana sushi.
by Scotty Nice October 25, 2019

When your girl finally agrees to let you in the butt after a grueling quest to convince her and you go so fast before she changes her mind that you jam it in without lube and bend your dick in half, causing a hospital visit and very uncomfortable conversation with the doctor.
Well doctor, you see, Trudie finally agreed to the butt and I went so fast that I forgot the lube and...snap crackle pop...here I am.
by Scotty Nice November 6, 2019
