Orrich

A town near Bolton in North West England. Actually written as "HORWICH" but pronounced by the locals as above, many an hour can be spent driving around its proximity wondering where the fuck it is having only seen signs for Horwich

Visitor "Excuse me mate can you tell me where Orrich is?"
Local "Aye this is Orrich, love!" Points to a sign reading "Horwich"
Visitor "FFS!"

by schmilliemoo April 06, 2011

The Shawcross

The Shawcross is the entity that eats your food out of the fridge or biscuit cupboard. Some believe he exists only in legend, however equally others say that they knew they had half a fruit cake in the cupboard which has now mysteriously disappeared.
In some cultures, The Shawcross is also blamed for the loss of one sock out of a pair - especially when you know you DEFINITELY put two in the washing machine.

John "WTF ! I had half a Christmas cake in the bread tin which I've been looking forward to all day... Have YOU eaten it Tim you fucker??"
Tim "No - maybe we've been visited by legendary food thief... The Shawcross!!!"
John "Grrrrrrr!!"

by Schmilliemoo April 21, 2011

Orrich

A suburb in North West England. After driving around helplessly wondering where the fuck it is, your friend who lives there tells you it's actually spelt "Horwich"

Mel: WTF I have used up ££/$$ of fuel driving around looking for Orrich I must phone my friend and ask for help.... Dude where TF is this Orrich?

Person from Orrich: Just look for the signs you're literally around the corner

Mel, spotting the sign reading the sign for Horwich that she's driven past 1,000 times "FUCK!"

by Schmilliemoo March 31, 2011

Jeanettics

Finding out that your friend Jeanette's parents are very closely related, even closer than cousins. usually follows that awkward question "Why do you have six fingers on each hand....?"

Mel : "Hey Jeanette! How come you have three legs, dude??"
Jeanette "It's 'cause of my Jeanettics dawg. My brother's my dad!"
Mel "OOH" Hi six, sista!"

by Schmilliemoo March 30, 2011