RickJamesBiznitch

I'll admit it. As an Asian girl who has this intense Caucasian (and only Caucasian) male fetish, I am led to daydream about freaking with Rick James, despite the fact that I have never freaked before. Maybe RickJamesBiznitch can teach me how, judging from her electronically seductive energy and facetious words of guidance. A true character, she is a pro at pointing out your online flaws and keeping you in check. If only she could have been the nun who beat me with the ruler in Catholic school.

One day, when I'm roaming around Borders, I'll find that novel by RickJamesBiznitch...

by Scherbatsky* March 27, 2008

SecondCircle

An endangered species famed for her night prowling and incomparable dancing skills. SecondCircle is a creature of self-assertion, a being who has compelled me to pull that stick out of my ass and learn to value people regardless of their divergent lifestyles. Life is short, and SecondCircle has shown us that following your instincts does lead to unalienable joy.

I feel pity for the cat lady next door. She should go searching for a SecondCircle.

by Scherbatsky* March 27, 2008

BridgetJones

The woman I aspire to be. The woman who kicks Elle Woods' ass when it comes to pulling off a Playboy Bunny outfit. The woman who journeys far and wide. The woman who puts up with her misery and continues walking on despite the budding blisters on her sensitive heels. Not only do I aspire to be her, but I want BridgetJones to be my sister in law.

Brother, I have a woman for you. Her name is BridgetJones.

by Scherbatsky* March 27, 2008

psycho_maniac

Let's put it this way. The YM story board sucks ass. Not because the stories are poorly written, but because the subject matter reminds me too much of cotton candy. psycho_maniac is a fresh breath of air for me, as her literary tidbits make my heart tickle.

Literature can soothe the savage idiot. psycho_maniac will do just that very, very soon.

by Scherbatsky* March 27, 2008

beansnchips

When winter comes, and I'm shivering like hell and need some blubber, beansnchips will sure come in handy. It's a savior to my tummy, a salty form of Prozac, and an aphrodisiac all at once. You can also say that beansnchips is a sort of "character" meal, as it is capable of talking and even typing conversations on the Internet. beansnchips, gentically engineered vegetables have nothing on you!

I'm pretty sure that on Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey's honeymoon, Jessica's mother lavished the love chamber with Cheetos, Lays, and beansnchips.

by Scherbatsky* March 27, 2008

VERTIGO

An ailment my father often suffers from on Thanksgiving after a crapload of undercooked turkey. Also, a song that makes me grudgingly admit that Bono is indeed a sexy, sexy man. In addition, VERTIGOs are delightfully sassy, yet at the same time act very mature for their very young age. For this reason, VERTIGOs would make very good decoys for the Dateline special "To Catch a Predator."

I've been dizzy and feeling delightfully intoxicated. Damn you, VERTIGO!

by Scherbatsky* March 27, 2008

_Hollywood

An exotic beauty whose elusiveness puts the actual land of Hollywood to shame. A dedicated aficionado of fashion, _Hollywood also has kind ears, willing to listen to the daily trifles of troubled young women. Her vibrant personality and chic charisma are surely valued contributions to the cultural mosaic we call Planet Earth.

You know that bench in front of the shop _Hollywood works at? Well, one day, when my home gets foreclosed and my car gets repossessed, I hope to sleep on that bench in hopes that she'll telepathically recognize me.

by Scherbatsky* March 27, 2008