Definitions by Sataneyes

Sausage-fit 

Type of clothing fit where the item is several sizes too small, leading to love-handle overhang or wardrobe malfunction potential.

"Hi, do you have these jeans in sausage-fit? I only want half of my arse inside."

Sausage-fit by Sataneyes February 7, 2022

Urgenslow

Something presented as urgent that isn't. Often used by sly would-be manipulators or egocentrics to achieve priority for their concerns over those of others. A low form of peasant-cunning, often used by the unintelligent. Once identified, this person's subsequent 'urgent' requests are never taken seriously. Can denote both the item and the process. See also superurgenslow.

A: "Please, you have to deal with this now, it's URGENT!"
B: 1 hour later "Okay, it's done. Can you please confirm you have it? Hello? Hello? Where did you go?"
C: "I can't believe you fell for that. All of his things are Urgenslow. Oh, by the way, I really think you should go to the bathroom now..."

Urgenslow by Sataneyes February 7, 2022

Law Cadet 

A person neither trained nor qualified in law who, having had a brief acquaintance with some legal matter or other, professes him or herself an expert on all things legal.

"I didn't realise Adam was a lawyer."
"He isn't. He just got sued. Suddenly he's Justinian."
"Ah, another Law Cadet!. Great!"

Law Cadet by Sataneyes February 6, 2022

Nupdate 

An update with no useful content whatsoever, typically provided to a person who asks to be updated just for the sake of it.

"Where are you going?"
"I have to give another nupdate to the boss."
"Has anything changed?"
"Nope."

Nupdate by Sataneyes February 4, 2022