Russell Clark's definitions

Forward AWOL Recovery Team

The Forward AWOL Recovery Team, or FART is small body of soldiers, usually including the AWOL soldier's squad leader and several members of the AWOL soldier's own platoon that is informally composed by the Platoon Sergeant and/or Platoon Leader for "executing AWOL recovery procedures." Intelligence as to the nearby whereabouts of the AWOL soldier must be considered reliable and the FART must be fielded and report back to duty before the team members are noticed missing by the Company Commander (CC), unless the CC is complicit and can provide a plausible cover story to the Battalion Commander (BC) to buy time for the FART's operations.

Internal military memos issued by National Guard two star generals and above have made clear that commanders at all levels are to be held accountable for controlling manageable losses, which certainly suggests to lower level commanders a real need for the Forward AWOL Recovery Team (FART). According to these memos, "commanders must retain at least 85 percent of soldiers who are scheduled to end their active duty and 90 percent of soldiers scheduled to ship for Initial Entry Training, and execute the AWOL recovery procedures for every AWOL soldier." It is largely for this reason that the practice by lower level commanders of aggressively and secretly issuing FART's is likely to continue.

by Russell Clark January 13, 2007

syrup head

A chronic recreational user or addict of the anti-tussive drug, Dextromethorphan (DXM) that is commonly found in many over-the-counter cough and cold remedies.

Syrup heads typically exhibit the following adverse reactions: impaired judgment and mental efficacy, paranoid ideation, dysphoria, blurred vision, headache, dizziness, syncope, slurred speech, ruddiness of complexion, muscular twitching, extremity numbness and tremors, nausea, abdominal pain, vomiting, decreased thermoregulation, hypertension, liver damage and irregular heartbeat. A good round of repeated and violent vomiting is sometimes the only thing separating a syrup head from a horrid long night in the ER.

by Russell Clark December 12, 2006

Prozagra

A fusion of the drug names, Prozac and Viagra. A cocktail of medications or herbal supplements that elevates both mood and libido or produces a beneficial effect on both by elevating either.

Jim must have started on Prozagra or something. Lately he seems to have taken out a new lease on life!

by Russell Clark December 3, 2006

iatrogenia

Of or pertaining to infectious diseases contracted through exposure to a medical treatment or facility or to medical complications caused by a physician's prescribed course of treatment.

Every episode of the popular series, House, MD is an entertaining study in the horrors of iatrogenia.

by Russell Clark December 7, 2006

recycling of endearments

A common tactic of an Identity Deficit Disorder sufferer. Akin to the regifting practice made famous by Seinfeld, except not with Christmas presents for ones friends, but with endearing nicknames for ones lovers. The cynical practice of pimp daddies everywhere.

Back in High School, whenever I wasn't dating anyone, my best friend Marcus would sometimes kindly invite me out with him on his dates. I started begging off though after a few such get togethers and not just for the obvious reason that this was a kind of weird social practice, but actually mostly because I got sick of seeing how Marcus shamelessly practiced the recycling of endearments like "sweetums", "loviekins" and "babydoll". Of course the girl of the moment was none the wiser to all this.

by Russell Clark December 6, 2006

Dimbulbian

An inhabitant or native of Dimbulbia.

In the land of Dimbulbia, intellectual illumination is ever in short supply.

by Russell Clark November 2, 2003

check my spam

Checking one's email though certain one has received no important communication. Compulsively and frequently checking one's email when one is not expecting an important message.

Between friends in a cybercafe: "Hey could you hurry up so I can get on and check my email?" "Who are you kidding, little bro, you know all your email buddies have dropped you like a brick!" "Yeah, I gotta check my spam. . . vamoose!"

by Russell Clark December 6, 2006