Russell Clark's definitions

gerbaling

The act, individual or collective of introducing into the human rectum, a live gerbal, usual an adult male for the purpose of gaining, directly or indirectly, sadistic and erotic gratification.

The inventor of the "J-tube" self-delivery system was an avid devotee of gerbaling.

by Russell Clark March 14, 2004

skelatrix

A feminine version of Skeletor of He Man/Masters of the Universe cartoon fame. Any skinny and unattractive or scarecrow-like white female. An SWF survivor of crack or crystal meth addiction.

Marcus: "Hey He Man, check out your arch rival standing there at the edge of the bar." Bob: "you mean the skinny girl over there with the big hair?" Marcus: "Yeah, that's what's her name. . . Skelatrix . . with the methylated grill.

Bob: "You're crazy, Marcus, if you're suggesting that I . . ." Marcus: "Chill, Bobby Brown, I know you're already hittin' that!"

by Russell Clark December 6, 2006

recycling of endearments

A common tactic of an Identity Deficit Disorder sufferer. Akin to the regifting practice made famous by Seinfeld, except not with Christmas presents for ones friends, but with endearing nicknames for ones lovers. The cynical practice of pimp daddies everywhere.

Back in High School, whenever I wasn't dating anyone, my best friend Marcus would sometimes kindly invite me out with him on his dates. I started begging off though after a few such get togethers and not just for the obvious reason that this was a kind of weird social practice, but actually mostly because I got sick of seeing how Marcus shamelessly practiced the recycling of endearments like "sweetums", "loviekins" and "babydoll". Of course the girl of the moment was none the wiser to all this.

by Russell Clark December 6, 2006

Dimbulbian

An inhabitant or native of Dimbulbia.

In the land of Dimbulbia, intellectual illumination is ever in short supply.

by Russell Clark November 2, 2003

identity deficit disorder

Otherwise known as IDD, a relatively rare disorder characterized by a notable lack of original, which is to say, innovative, interesting or humorous ideas. Like Rabies, the first symptom of this "disease" is a developing fear in the victim that they may indeed be a sufferer. This leads the sufferer of IDD to develop various tactics and strategies for masking this deficit of metaphysical presence, for example, keeping one's mentor(s) in the closet and isolated from one's social circles so that one's frequent parroting of the mentor's wisdom and witticisms is not detected and can be passed off as one's own. Another common tactic of a sufferer of IDD is the practice of recycling of endearments.

The character Howard Crick played by Will Farrell in the popular film, Stranger than Fiction (2006) provides us with as good an example as any of a person suffering from what might be termed "identity deficit disorder".

What Derrida has effectively accused all thinkers of suffering from when he proved that metaphysical presence is mere illusion.

Tommy frequently recycled the ideas and suggestions of his friends and acquaintances. And in this way at least put up a passable appearance of having a personality to call his own. If Tommy ever did have an idea of his very own no one ever knew it since it'd invariably die on the vine before he could tell anyone.

by Russell Clark December 6, 2006

syrup head

A chronic recreational user or addict of the anti-tussive drug, Dextromethorphan (DXM) that is commonly found in many over-the-counter cough and cold remedies.

Syrup heads typically exhibit the following adverse reactions: impaired judgment and mental efficacy, paranoid ideation, dysphoria, blurred vision, headache, dizziness, syncope, slurred speech, ruddiness of complexion, muscular twitching, extremity numbness and tremors, nausea, abdominal pain, vomiting, decreased thermoregulation, hypertension, liver damage and irregular heartbeat. A good round of repeated and violent vomiting is sometimes the only thing separating a syrup head from a horrid long night in the ER.

by Russell Clark December 12, 2006

Forward AWOL Recovery Team

The Forward AWOL Recovery Team, or FART is small body of soldiers, usually including the AWOL soldier's squad leader and several members of the AWOL soldier's own platoon that is informally composed by the Platoon Sergeant and/or Platoon Leader for "executing AWOL recovery procedures." Intelligence as to the nearby whereabouts of the AWOL soldier must be considered reliable and the FART must be fielded and report back to duty before the team members are noticed missing by the Company Commander (CC), unless the CC is complicit and can provide a plausible cover story to the Battalion Commander (BC) to buy time for the FART's operations.

Internal military memos issued by National Guard two star generals and above have made clear that commanders at all levels are to be held accountable for controlling manageable losses, which certainly suggests to lower level commanders a real need for the Forward AWOL Recovery Team (FART). According to these memos, "commanders must retain at least 85 percent of soldiers who are scheduled to end their active duty and 90 percent of soldiers scheduled to ship for Initial Entry Training, and execute the AWOL recovery procedures for every AWOL soldier." It is largely for this reason that the practice by lower level commanders of aggressively and secretly issuing FART's is likely to continue.

by Russell Clark January 13, 2007