The final stage of self-actualization, surpassing enlightenment, financial success, and even Chuck Norris-level toughness. (It is rumoured that Conor McGregor once sought Excelsior but turned back, realising that the world was not ready for him to ascend further.)
“Before Excelsior, I was afraid of public speaking. Now I walk into crowded rooms and people go silent, waiting for me to impart wisdom.”
by Ron and Baxter Burgundy March 02, 2025
Dugaldism
A mining-specific term describing a situation so profoundly fucked that it has officially maxed out its potential for further fuckery. Characterized by placing a “post turtle”—someone elevated to a position far above their ability, competence, or comprehension—in charge of critical functions, particularly High Reliability Operations (HRO). The purest expression of Dugaldism occurs when leadership decides the best way to fix systemic chaos is by giving a clueless manager absolute authority over the very thing they understand least, typically safety or reliability. It’s the corporate equivalent of putting a toddler in charge of air traffic control, then expressing surprise when everything inevitably crashes.
A mining-specific term describing a situation so profoundly fucked that it has officially maxed out its potential for further fuckery. Characterized by placing a “post turtle”—someone elevated to a position far above their ability, competence, or comprehension—in charge of critical functions, particularly High Reliability Operations (HRO). The purest expression of Dugaldism occurs when leadership decides the best way to fix systemic chaos is by giving a clueless manager absolute authority over the very thing they understand least, typically safety or reliability. It’s the corporate equivalent of putting a toddler in charge of air traffic control, then expressing surprise when everything inevitably crashes.
We’ve fully embraced Dugaldism by putting the post turtle in charge of HRO. Can’t wait to see how they solve safety by ordering more pizza parties and branded pens.
The sheer fuckery of this place, so many aids, pure Dugaldism
Here are some additional examples of Dugaldism in action:
We reached peak Dugaldism today—management decided the best response to equipment failures was to repaint the workshop floors and give everyone matching hats
Classic Dugaldism moment: the post turtle just mandated ‘zero incidents’ by banning reporting incidents altogether
You know it’s Dugaldism when they replace faulty safety gear with motivational posters saying ‘Safety First!’ printed on paper that catches fire
It’s Dugaldism at its finest when the only qualification for running an HRO program is confidently misusing the words ‘synergy’ and ‘culture change’ in every meeting
Achieved maximum Dugaldism yesterday when the post turtle announced that all hazards have officially been removed—because he deleted them from the spreadsheet
We’ve hit full Dugaldism. Management’s response to the latest safety breach? Promoting the guy who caused it, since he now has ‘valuable first-hand experience
The team knew Dugaldism was in full swing when the HRO manager thought ‘critical control’ meant deciding who brings donuts on Fridays.
Nothing screams Dugaldism like responding to a safety audit failure by scheduling more meetings to discuss scheduling fewer meetings.
The sheer fuckery of this place, so many aids, pure Dugaldism
Here are some additional examples of Dugaldism in action:
We reached peak Dugaldism today—management decided the best response to equipment failures was to repaint the workshop floors and give everyone matching hats
Classic Dugaldism moment: the post turtle just mandated ‘zero incidents’ by banning reporting incidents altogether
You know it’s Dugaldism when they replace faulty safety gear with motivational posters saying ‘Safety First!’ printed on paper that catches fire
It’s Dugaldism at its finest when the only qualification for running an HRO program is confidently misusing the words ‘synergy’ and ‘culture change’ in every meeting
Achieved maximum Dugaldism yesterday when the post turtle announced that all hazards have officially been removed—because he deleted them from the spreadsheet
We’ve hit full Dugaldism. Management’s response to the latest safety breach? Promoting the guy who caused it, since he now has ‘valuable first-hand experience
The team knew Dugaldism was in full swing when the HRO manager thought ‘critical control’ meant deciding who brings donuts on Fridays.
Nothing screams Dugaldism like responding to a safety audit failure by scheduling more meetings to discuss scheduling fewer meetings.
by Ron and Baxter Burgundy February 25, 2025
The highest possible state of existence that a human can achieve, just short of full godhood. To reach Excelsior is to ascend beyond mere mortals, leaving behind weakness, fear, and any trace of emotional fragility. Only a handful of men have ever reached true Excelsior, and those who did no longer need introductions.
“I tried therapy, meditation, and yoga, but nothing worked until I did Excelsior. Now, my own shadow fears me.”
by Ron and Baxter Burgundy March 02, 2025
A brutal self-improvement program designed to obliterate weakness, eradicate excuses, and forcibly reconstruct men from broken, pathetic husks into unstoppable war machines. Originally created by Darius Tungsten-Carbide, a man so powerful that his mere existence gave birth to Australia’s dangerous wildlife (snakes? Spiders? Drop bears? All weak creatures that tried and failed to impress him).
“My girlfriend left me, my boss fired me, and I was crying into my oat milk latte. Then I signed up for Excelsior. Now? My ex wants me back, my boss retired out of respect, and I no longer recognise the concept of sadness.”
by Ron and Baxter Burgundy March 02, 2025
The program that took the world’s weakest man, Nigel Butterworth III, a frail, oat-milk-drinking, TikTok-dancing disgrace to masculinity, and transformed him into a weaponized force of nature. Before Excelsior, Nigel had a lactose intolerance, a gluten allergy, and a fear of eye contact. After Excelsior? He wrestled a crocodile into submission and made it his personal Uber. Nigel was from that day forward know as Chuck Norris.
“Before Excelsior, I used to get nervous ordering at restaurants. Now the waiter thanks me for my dominance and brings me the steak I never even ordered.”
by Ron and Baxter Burgundy March 02, 2025