Rev. Johnny Blumpkin's definitions

herd of pachyderms

A group of 3-8 fat women, who travel together on social outings for protection and moral support. They are known to frequent Ladies Night and all-you-can-eat buffets.

I came to the bar to find some hot action, not get trampled by a herd of pachyderms.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin February 12, 2019

Buska

Fecal remnants. Either from pooping or a shart.

My mom busted me out for the buska streaks in my dirty underwear.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin February 12, 2019

Zedite

A slur for Gen Z members, who much like the demonic spirits from the Evil Dead franchise, spew vitriol and negativity and will "swallow your soul" by forcing you to believe what they do, OR ELSE; they clearly want to take over the world. They are known for being judgmental, irritable, socially maladapted and staring into device screens like a zombie.

Gen X Dad: I accidentally talked about how great life was in the 90's around my daughters college friends and they all went berserk and began screaming at me like demons.

Friend: Kinda like those possessed people in Evil Dead?

Gen X Dad: Yeah like deadite's, except Gen Z'ers... so "Zedite's"

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin December 5, 2023

Kiss the Converse

An insult uttered by Sho'Nuff in the 1985 film "the Last Dragon". It means to bow down to ones enemy and pay respect by kissing their feet.

You think you're the shit, but you ain't, bow down and Kiss the Converse.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin January 2, 2019

aborted fetal colada

The mix of pus and menses that drips from a woman's birth canal after an abortion procedure. It is high in vitamins, and definitely leaves a dark Kool-Aid mustache.

My girlfriend just had an abortion, so I can't wait to slurp up that aborted fetal colada!

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin February 18, 2019

methadozing

The act of falling asleep sitting up, shortly after taking a dose of Methadone.

Guard #1: How was your well being check?
Guard #2: I walked past cell 31 and inmate Jones was sitting on his bunk, but I think he was sleeping...
Guard #1: Oh, so he was Methadozing?
Guard #2: Oh yeah... he did just take Methadone at med pass.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin June 6, 2018

hyper duke

When you really have to shit but don't have the time to relax and enjoy it, so you push it out as fast as possible, in an effort to get back to your day.

I had to shit really bad, but Rick and Morty was about to come on, so I had to make it a Hyper Duke

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin March 1, 2018