Rev. Johnny Blumpkin's definitions

cocoa snake

Any turd that is at least 8 inches in length.

This morning I woke up and took a shit, dropped a massive cocoa snake in the bowl.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin January 31, 2018

Whinabifida

An ailment that afflicts young children and invokes feelings of constant boredom, disappointment and unfulfillment. These emotions are usually in spite of an abundance of trips to the park, treats and presents. They then express these ideas verbally ad nauseum, in high pitched and annoying tones of voice.

Parent: My kid always complains about how we never do anything fun and that it's unfair. It's all the time doc...
Pediatrician: sounds like your child is suffering from Whinabifida.
Parent: How do you treat that?
Pediatrician: Acetaminophen and a pillow over their face while they're sleeping.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin June 15, 2019

Breech Baby

An insult for someone of lacking intelligence or who generally has simple concepts go over their head. The connection being that like a baby being delivered feet first, their brain isnt getting enough oxygen.

I told my neighbor that huffing spray paint is bad for his brain but he just replied "but it fucks me up so good...". That guy is such a breech baby.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin March 5, 2022

Capitol Hilldos

A portmanteau of Capitol Hill and Dildos, which stands as a derogatory name for the United States Senate and House of Representatives, because much like a sex toy, they rarely accomplish anything without being handled aggressively and serve only the purpose of fucking you.

Reporter on TV: and in other news, Congress has once again demonstrated what Capitol Hilldos they are by jamming $500 Billion of Corporate Bailout spending into the Coronavirus stimulus package, screwing our financial future but making sure their campaign donors won't have to sell off their yachts and summer homes...

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin March 29, 2020

Suboxone Sway

The slight back and forth rocking done by someone who has just taken a dose of Suboxone. Sometimes it involves sitting in a chair, falling asleep sitting up or just swaying gently while standing up.

Guy #1: Dude, check out that girl over there. She's just rocking back and forth next to the door to the Clinic...
Guy #2: Oh, that's my friend Amy, she's on Suboxone to kick her Heroin habit. She takes that shit and is basically in a trance for a while.
Guy #1: So... she's doing the Suboxone Sway?
Guy #2: nice one!

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin June 6, 2018

Buska

Fecal remnants. Either from pooping or a shart.

My mom busted me out for the buska streaks in my dirty underwear.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin February 12, 2019

Zedite

A slur for Gen Z members, who much like the demonic spirits from the Evil Dead franchise, spew vitriol and negativity and will "swallow your soul" by forcing you to believe what they do, OR ELSE; they clearly want to take over the world. They are known for being judgmental, irritable, socially maladapted and staring into device screens like a zombie.

Gen X Dad: I accidentally talked about how great life was in the 90's around my daughters college friends and they all went berserk and began screaming at me like demons.

Friend: Kinda like those possessed people in Evil Dead?

Gen X Dad: Yeah like deadite's, except Gen Z'ers... so "Zedite's"

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin December 5, 2023