5 definition by Randwulf

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A fun class if you're decently intelligent and you enjoy history. Otherwise it's hell on Earth. Most teachers are like the 1850s slave-drivers you'll read about and make you take several HARD tests every week. It's typical for about a quarter of the class to fail these even though they bum-studied for 10 hours the night before.
Haha suckas, I got a 94 in AP US History and a 5 on the exam. I was also the first person at our school in 6 years to get a 100% on a test. That's how BS the tests are.

Bob: "Hey Ron, how'd you do on the History test?"

Ron: "I got a 78! Whoo!"

Bob: "Nice man!" *high fives*

Bob and Ron aren't your average scene-kid slackers who don't give a shit, they're diligent AP students. No exaggeration there! I got a 78 once and was completely euphoric.
by Randwulf July 19, 2009

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The best war ever. Why? Because there were kings and queens, but there were also advanced weapons. Awesome!

There is one case in which World War I shouldn't be considered the best war ever, and that's if you fought in it.

How to fight in World War I:

1. Sit in a stinky trench for a month. Repeatedly get terribly ill from sleeping in mud mixed with shit.

2. Get your ass pounded by hundreds of thousands of artillery shells launched by an invisible enemy. Suffer from shell-shock.

3. Get gassed until you bleed out your ass

4. Jump out of your trench and get shot while mutilating your hands trying to climb over a barbed-wire fence.

5. Get limbs amputated.

6. Go home.

7. Suffer awful Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that makes Schizophrenia look normal.
World War I is cool to study, but if I wake up in a World War I bunker tomorrow I will shoot myself in the mouth.

The belligerent stages of World War I (the war had been subtly waiting to happen for decades) began when Archduke Franz Ferdinand (awesome name and title) was assassinated by a terrorist group called the Black Hand (frickin awesome name!) in Sarajevo, Bosnia (badass city even today).

Emperor Franz Josef (yes, "Emperor", it doesn't get better than that) of the Austro-Hungarian Empire then sent an ultimatum to the government of Serbia, which it held responsible for Ferdinand's death. Serbia failed to comply with the demands and was subsequently invaded by the Emperor's troops under General Franz Conrad von Hotzendorf (this stuff is too cool to make up). Soon, Tzar Nicholas of Russia declared that he was mobilizing his massive army. In response, Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany, who really didn't want war with Russia but previously promised support to Austria Hungary, mobilized his troops, declared war on Russia and France, and invaded Belgium and Luxembourg within days. His plan, the Schlieffen Plan, was to take France out of the war within three weeks, before Russia could mount a major offensive against Germany. He failed in this respect and the western front bogged down to a stalemate 50 miles outside of Paris.
by Randwulf January 31, 2010

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God's calculator. Most of the questions of the SATs that require solving for variables or solving trigonometric identities can be solved by simply plugging them in to this beast of calculator.
John: "Hey Randall, what did you get on the math section of the SATs?"

Randall: "Oh, just an 800"

John: "800?!?! Didn't you get a 550 last time?"

Randall: "That was before I got my TI-89 Titanium!"
by Randwulf October 06, 2009

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A noun used by elderly Germans to refer to the internet. It literally means "information highway".
Bob: "Yo, wasup, Nazi Grandma?"

Grandma: "ICH SURFE DEN INFOBAHN!!" (I am surfing the infobahn.)
by Randwulf August 26, 2009

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Someone who lies, usually about their age, in order to enter a chat room.
It's only a matter of time before I go to jail for accidentally cybering with an eleven year old chat ninja.
by Randwulf February 03, 2010

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