Definitions by QuacksO

saddle-soap 

A hunorous term for personal lubricant --- a warming and/or soothing slippery liquid/gel that is applied to the "contact areas" prior to intercourse, so that both the guy and the gal get a more comfy "ride".

Hottie #1: Yo! Why the groaning and crossed legs, Girl?
Hottie #2: Oh, it's just my new boyfriend, hunny --- he's so "big" and enthusiastic that I always feel sore "down there" for a while after we "do it".
Hottie #1: Aw, major bummer, sweetie --- you guys shoulda used saddle-soap!

saddle-soap by QuacksO January 10, 2015

C.P.R.

Coughing Poop Release. Refers to a self-administered emergency technique when unable to poop normally; somewhat similar to the Heimlich maneuver, it involves coughing vigorously to dislodge and eject the organic object clogging the bodily orifice.

I was mildly constipated, so I used C.P.R. to help me eliminate.

C.P.R. by QuacksO October 13, 2014

chiropractice 

What a medical student does when learning to manipulate limbs and joints. Often difficult to accomplish, because nobody wants to be a "guinea pig" and entrust his delicate tendons and ligaments to an eager-but-inexperienced "greenhorn".

My macho buddy wants to try cracking his friends' shoulders and necks for chiropractice... count me out!

chiropractice by QuacksO October 13, 2014

Klondike bar floozie 

Not to be confused with a bar floozie (a "loose" female who hangs around a bar waiting for some hot young stud to pick her up), this term refers to an equally "loose" gal with such a sweet tooth that she is NEVER "ashamed of what she done for a Klondike bar".

A Klondike bar floozie seldom has to buy her own ice cream sandwiches during the summertime; she just hangs around the supermarket parking lot and watches for hot young hunks who are heading to their vehicles with bulging shopping bags full of Klondike bars, and then hurries over and offers them a little touchy-feely/nookie-wookie in exchange for one of the scrumptious frozen treats.

Klondike bar floozie by QuacksO September 16, 2014

triple-n 

Nutritional No-No. Refers to any "unnatural" food item or additive, such as white flour, sugar, table salt, preservatives, food colorings, etc., that nutritionists advise against consuming.

Dude, you're eating coleslaw just plain? Aren't you gonna put some salad dressing on it?
No way, Bud --- that stuff's got a myriad of triple-n's in it --- sugar, salt, hydrogenated oils, preservatives... I wanna stay healthy!

triple-n by QuacksO May 19, 2014

demensia 

Noun The plural of "demension", this word refers to two or more of any "fussy" or "precise" or "stringent" measurements (length, width, height, depth, weight, amount, levelling/alignment, etc.), or to an unusually large quantity of these stipulations, which are involved in a construction/scientific project, details that typically cause the laborers and supervisors involved in the endeavor to actually go partially insane over the fastidious/voluminous details, and sometimes to even actually see the nauseating mathematical figures in their sleep. Can also refer to a debilitating mental condition brought on by excessive exposure to said precise-measurement headaches, or to a similar condition suffered by someone who is unnaturally/totally obsessed with either (1) exact measurements of various objects, or (2) the "measurements" of an admired person whom he'd like to be intimate with.

Harry used to love fine cabinet-making, but he eventually got such a rip-roaring case of demensia that he had to quit that line of work; he now enjoys befriending attractive women, and measuring their boob- and waist-sizes.

demensia by QuacksO May 8, 2014

philandthropist 

A wealthy married man who, while probably being somewhat parsimonious to his own wife/children, offers financal assistance to other women in return for their sexual favors.

I hear that Mr. Jones is thought of as a real sugar daddy by a lot of ladies, but he makes his own family shop at Goodwill, so I see him as just a philandthropist.

philandthropist by QuacksO February 20, 2014