Definitions by QuacksO
black widower
A dude who's had a long list of marriages, only to have each of his consecutive wives die and/or disappear under questionable circumstances.
Aside from execution, the only sure way to stop a black widower from continuing his ghastly lifestyle is to have him marry a black widow. Further explanation unnecessary.
black widower by QuacksO May 22, 2018
morgueage
A property-owner's-loan contract with terms that are so grievous and/or long-term that the only time you will likely ever be relieved of it is after you "shuffle off".
A clever early-'80's cartoon-example of a morgueage: a scowling bill collector is shown speaking to a "Here lies John Smith" gravestone: "And so I am warning you for the final time, Mr. Smith --- if we do not receive your payment within two weeks, we are gonna hafta take some STERN STEPS! Do you hear me, Mr. Smith?! STERN STEPS!"
high expectations
The inflated degree of hoped-for euphoria that one initially possesses when trying out a new psychedelic drug, spiritual/meditation regimen, etc.
It's not a good idea to have high expectations, especially if you have trouble handling disappointment. Everyone's metabolism and chemical makeup is different, so individual results and effects will vary widely (and WILDly).
high expectations by QuacksO May 20, 2018
conchubrine
A seashell that you secretly retain "on the side" to listen to the "sound of the salty surf" by holding the shell up to your ear during periods when you are unable to actually visit the seashore in person.
With the innumerable multitudes of bathers who visit the seashore, I don't think that Lady Ocean will be heartbroken or even actually notice my absence if I occasionally stay home with my conchubrine instead of loyally strolling her sandy shores each and every day.
conchubrine by QuacksO May 19, 2018
Machiavorkianism
The concept of becoming so emotionally/morally detached that you feel comfortable with assisting someone to commit suicide.
I'm kinda "on the fence" about assisted suicides for terminally-ill patients, but I do acknowledge that there would definitely be some grave (pun not intended, but certainly appropriate) Machiavorkianism risks involved.
Machiavorkianism by QuacksO May 15, 2018
hemhawrhoids
Major pain-in-the-ass condition of acute indecisiveness that often causes mild-to-extreme physical/emotional/mental discomfort, inconvenience, confusion/resentment/impatience/exhaustion, etc. for all those involved, plus the major waste of time/opportunities/resources, inefficiency/stagnation, needless delays/cost-overruns, etc..
It is an erroneous belief that someone with hemhawrhoids can be cured/hurried along with a good kick in the rear end --- he's already a sore-natured a**h**e, and so any further physical trauma "back there" will only make his condition worse. Smearing on summa dat Pfizer-brand cream dat comes in a tube might indeed help wid da pain somewhat, but I don't know about significant improvement in da slowness-to-make-up-his-mind part of the equation.
hemhawrhoids by QuacksO May 15, 2018
Don’t have a cow, man!
An admonition spoken to a male seahorse who is concerned that he's gonna give birth to sea CATTLE instead of sea HORSES.
Most creatures reproduce though the female, with the male providing fertilization of her eggs while their still "in her oven". But male seahorses do somewhat the opposite --- the female deposits her sterile eggs into the male's sperm-filled egg-pouch, where the eggs are fertilized and remain till they hatch. Once in a while, though, something goes wrong with the process, and the male becomes concerned that his eggs are turning into aquatic cattle instead of horses, prompting others in his clan to anxiously admonish, "Don’t have a cow, man!"
Don’t have a cow, man! by QuacksO May 14, 2018