Definitions by QuacksO
Glassroom Laboratory
The totally boring-b**ls**t physics/chemistry-demonstration kit for schools that was put out in the early '70's by Harcourt, Brace & World, Inc. The accompanying lesson-sheets were always irritatingly difficult to work with, and the company seemingly couldn't even spell "classroom" properly on the box's cover --- for years I had always thought it said "glassroom" because the bottom of the "C" and the top of the "L" were interlocked, and so it made da "C" look like a "G".... it was only when my fourth-grade teacher actually mentioned the name of the kit when speaking to another student that I finally realized what the label actually said!
Science class is spota be fun, but don't count on any happiness if your school relies on those insipid "Glassroom Laboratory" kits to teach da subject --- arduous and yuckyyyy...!!!
Glassroom Laboratory by QuacksO October 1, 2018
underminor
A capable/knowledgeable grownup --- such as a somewhat-rebellious-minded older relative like an aunt/uncle or grandparent, local pediatrician, grade-school counsellor, high-school classmate, etc.) who snortingly ignores parental wishes (i.e., "undermines") regarding young offspring (i.e., "minors"), giving said children the "goodie-items" they desire (spending money, sweets, toys, etc.) but that the children's Spartan-hearted parents don't want them to have, provides information/assistance with learning/tasks which the youngsters are unable to accomplish on their own but their parents refuse to merely tell them the needed answers or otherwise significantly help them in their efforts because "they need to figure it out for themselves", tells them and/or helps them to find out about "mature" topics (such as the age-old "young innocent's query" of "How was I born?", or the awkward/alarm-raising question, "What does an "adult-level"/violent/swear word that the Puritan-minded parent is horrified to discover that the young/impressionable child was introduced/exposed to mean?") that their over-protective parents refuse to explain/discuss with them yet because said parents think that their children are "still too young" to be told about such things, etc. Kids absolutely adore this kind of "willing to talk/help" person; parents hate their guts!
I'm kind of "on the fence" regarding telling/giving "da small fry" what they want against their parents' wishes... on da one hand, I fully respect a parent's desire to protect and nurture his offspring in an appropriate manner, but what about the (often very numerous, unfortunately!) instances when the parent **incorrectly** declines to help/enlighten the child, such as not assisting him in cases where he honestly does indeed have no idea how to proceed, or refusing to discuss/explain about a topic that **would indeed** be okay/appropriate/necessary for him to know about at his age?? I know how horridly frustrated I used to get as a small child when grownups wouldn't answer a simple question or help me with some mundane endeavor, and then later I'd resentfully find out that it actually WOULD have been perfectly okay/possible/appropriate for said grownup to have helped me, and thus I had needlessly been subjected to untold suffering and confusion by the adult's refusal to step in! What I would have given for a good underminor whom I could have run to in these "times of need" --- nowadays as a grownup myself, I SO INDEED make an effort to be a "child's advocate" --- I try hard to be helpful and generous in these ways whenever I see a confused/tearful child who needs info about/assistance with something.
underminor by QuacksO September 30, 2018
G.B.S. coordinates
The all-too-common and totally-erroneous satellite-generated map-instructions that necessitate getting your vehicle hauled out of a lake, direct you to a non-existent road through a swamp or dense forest, etc.
I took a shortcut that my TomTom claimed was a viable road, but it turned out to be a rough dead-end dirt track that's been completely washed out in the middle for nearly thirty years --- talk about some totally G.B.S. coordinates! Why don't they do some bleepin' UPDATING of their maps once in a while???
G.B.S. coordinates by QuacksO September 30, 2018
Karma Ghia
I wanted an Austin-Healey, but on my "modest" income, all I could afford was this crappy somewhat-look-alike piece of tin --- guess it was Karma Ghia.
Karma Ghia by QuacksO September 30, 2018
hug-duration calculator
Refers to the mathematical-analysis procedure that you use to determine how long it's been since two embracing people have seen each other, how fond they are of each other, how long they've known each other, etc.
The hug-duration calculator can be very useful in guessing the details of two people's overall feelings about each other. For example, if they rush headlong towards each other "at first sighting" and totally bear-hug da crap outta each other (extra points if da guy sweeps da gal up off her feet and happily whirls her around a couple of times), this indicates that they have been apart for many months or even a year or more, and so they are simply overjoyed to finally be reunited. But if they simply step swiftly forward and enfold each other in a "deeply-tight" and super-long embrace (such as a minute or more; extra points if they also tear-dampen each other's shoulders and/or treat each other to shoulder-blade scrunchiez during said extended squeeze), this indicates that they are simply extra-fond of each other, and/or they are super-grateful for each other's friendship, emotional support, and occasional kindly assistance.
hug-duration calculator by QuacksO September 30, 2018
J.P. Morguean
Infamous robber-baron who didn't mind filling the funeral homes with corpses just so that he and his "rich-bug" cronies could continue "living the good life".
I try to be very careful with my finances so that I don't have to take out any loans, and I avoid the NYSE like the plague; with these wise practices, I hopefully won't fall victim to any modern-day J.P. Morgueans.
J.P. Morguean by QuacksO September 30, 2018