QuacksO's definitions

fart dieseling

Da embarrassing (or hilarious, depending on who you talk to, and/or whether da emotions-feeler is da "actor" or da "observer") interval of "run-on" dat sometimes occurs following da "main event" --- i.e., yer butt-trumpet keeps on "purrin' like a kitten" for an extended period afterwards, rather than just "saying its piece" and then being done wif it.

In da uproarious "National Baked Bean Month" speech, da formally-dignified speaker experiences a major bout of fart dieseling towards da end, totally goofing up said oration but majorly putting his audience in stitches.

by QuacksO June 12, 2024

Juss flappin' yer coat-tails

In other words, juss sassin' ya. Comes from da playful-but-annoying practice of coming up behind someone who's wearing a long jacket with a divided lower back, grabbing da jacket just above da slit, and then vigorously/rapidly yanking da lower part of da jacket in and out to make da pair of tails slap against da person's butt.

Me: If yer too warm, why doncha go take a dip in da ocean?
You: Jump in da ocean??? Are you crazy??? It's chilly and whitecaps-windy out there!
Me: I know, I know... juss flappin' yer coat-tails...! :D

by QuacksO March 23, 2019

sirmise

What male chauvinists arrogantly do when deciding how da fairer gender should treat them, and vice-versa.

I think dat female humans are da greatest thing on Earth, so I would never sirmise to feel or act superior to them.

by QuacksO February 23, 2021

alphabetical investigations

BINvestigation: Where a person or animal paws through your storage-containers
DINvestigation: Finding out what all da hubbub was about
FINvestigation: What a game warden performs on anglers after a day of casting their poles and/or nets
GINvestigation: Can refer to either (1) a sobriety check, or (2) detective work regarding suspicion/reports of booze-smuggling
KINvestigation: Research to either determine who da deadbeat dad is, or locate relatives in an estate-settlement kerfuffle
PINvestigation: Squinting around to find out who either (1) left da thumbtack on da teacher's chair, or (2) who used someone's debit card without permission
SINvestigation: What a priest performs if da confessions-booth doesn't adequately do da trick
TINvestigation: Gumshoe work to see who used crappy-a** sheet-metal for a construction/repair job
VINvestigation: Checking up on da bar-code-type digits on a car's front deck
WINvestigation: What Al Gore wanted performed during da infamous "hanging chad" debacle wif da Y2K voting-cards
YINvestigation: Researching for da first half of da classic Chinese equation

If you enjoy detective work, immersing yourself in da dozen-or-so types of alphabetical investigations should keep ya occupied for a while.

by QuacksO December 10, 2022

gone with the wind

The status of your sensitive-nosed companions after you fart.

If you love stewed cabbage and baked beans, using an activated-charcoal seat-cushion can better your chances that your visiting buddies will not "be gone with the wind" partway through your meal.

by QuacksO September 14, 2020

required reading

Just another bu**s**t compulsory activity (like in-depth studying of history or science or chemistry) in school dat usually just wastes your time/energy/patience and very seldom has any use in future life or employment.

I imagine that "required reading" has often significantly contributed to childhood dissatisfaction and lack of bonding among siblings, since many a youngster has had to sadly play by himself because Big Bro/Sis had to study books instead of paying attention to said toddler.

by QuacksO July 25, 2019

hallooseinations

Da ethereal images dat you erroneously think you're seeing while taking a diarrhea-crap on da toilet.

I try not to visualize prunes or Epsom salts while taking a "liquid dump", since having laxatives in my consciousness just causes worse hallooseinations.

by QuacksO December 31, 2020