QuacksO's definitions

metopia

A "perfect world" as defined just by yourself, regardless of how other world-inhabiting organisms (i.e., people, animals, plants, etc) might happen to feel about it. A classic example would be what Lucy van Pelt was trying to create by handing out lists of faults to all of her friends --- "I want to make the world a better place for me to live in."

Ethan Couch's absurdly-doting-and-overindulgent father wanted to create a virtual "metopia" learning-environment for his "little prince", and so he actually offered to buy the entire school so that he could control how it was run and therefore dictate how "Little Man" was being treated.

by QuacksO August 11, 2023

post-graduation disillusionment

Da feeling of "empty letdown after having toiled for nothing" dat you experience as an adult after you'd studied your a** off in grade school about certain strongly-hyped-and-pushed-for-their-supposedly-great-importance subjects (history, science, botany, biology, etc.) other than da "three R's", only to find dat in reality you seldom if ever need any of dat knowledge in your everyday working/home life, and dat others merely stare at you like you're some kinda brainiac nerd when ya mention anything from your vast knowledge of said subjects dat they had long forgotten about or not even bothered to really learn very well themselves in their own school years.

My third-grade teacher always really drove us to learn about da history of San Francisco, yet never once in the ensuing decades have I **ever** hadda use my knowledge of who William Leidesdorff or Amadeo Giannini was --- talk about post-graduation disillusionment!

by QuacksO March 18, 2019

arkitect

Someone skilled at designing large wooden boats.

Noah was supposedly the one who built the famous huge flood-resistant vessel, but according to the hilariously-naive Gracie Allen, Joan of Arc was the real arkitect: "Oh, c'mon, George --- us women have always been the true pioneers in the world! WE did all of the greatest achievements, not you men! Why, did Joan of Arc hesitate? No! She got busy and built it!"
George Burns: "Built what?"
Gracie Allen: "The Ark!"
George Burns: "Gracie, the Ark was built by a **man**, remember? Noah?"
Gracie Allen: "How could I 'noah'? Shes been deceased for 500 years!"

by QuacksO April 1, 2020

cunninglingus

The act of using clever ("cunning") words or dialect ("lingual", "lingo", etc.) during a request, statement, conversation, etc., so as to oblige the listener to have oral sex with the speaker.

Senior high-school dude: I totally detest taking English 3 & 4 classes, but at least they teach me new and advanced language-wording skills so that I can use cunninglingus to bamboozle the hot neighborhood chicks into dropping their panties for me.

by QuacksO July 30, 2017

lick before you lap

The doggie-variation of da famous "scope wid yer peepuhz before you jump in wid both feet" proverb, this advises all furry canines to carefully sniff/taste something for true safety/edibility before guzzling it down.

Fido with soap-bubbles fizzing out his nostrils Gee whillikerz --- I shoulda followed my mama's advice to "lick before you lap" --- I shoulda known that bucket was fulla used dishwater before I greedily stuck my thirsty snout into it!

by QuacksO July 9, 2018

Piss Pissedofferson

Evil-tempered older first cousin to the famous mustachioed musician/actor.

Piss Pissedofferson, like the high-handed WestPoint-steeped paternal relatives of his well-known cousin Kris, wasn't at all happy when Kris chose to leave military service for more peaceful choices of employment.

by QuacksO August 14, 2018

shampoorone

A rigorously-watchful "dutch uncle" or "battle-ax aunt" who hangs around and makes sure dat someone washes his hair correctly and thoroughly.

Da term "shampoorone" could also refer to a similar type of eagle-eyed honesty/diligence-freak as described above, but one who instead simply monitors da shower/bathtub while two individuals are sharing a scrub-a-dub, to make sure dat no "funny business" goes on during said "steamy" encounter.

by QuacksO May 7, 2022