junehem

Da next increment up in chaos from "mayhem".

If "mayhem" is proportionally before "junehem", maybe "aprilhem" is da comparatively-minor level of confused upheaval dat many of us encounter just in our everyday lives; da "Family Circus" cartoon is a good illustration of this.

by QuacksO August 26, 2025

buy-polar

A "two-extremes mood-swings" mental/emotional condition caused by either:
(1) an obsession with purchasing white-bear-logo fizzy drinks, or
(2) habitually trying to sell ice to Eskimos.

Maybe if you freeze a number of 2-liter bottles of seltzer-water and then offer said frothy ice to some of our fur-hood-wearing "Asians from up North", they might indeed be interested in procuring large quantities of said "fun pops" product from you, and then your buy-polar tendencies might be alleviated somewhat.

by QuacksO December 30, 2019

fomented beverage

An alcoholic drink that is used to "soothe the soul" of the person imbibing it.

Drinking beer isn't really the best way to calm down and forget your troubles; neither is literally using it as a "fomented beverage" --- i.e., pouring it all over yourself in an attempt to "douse the burning". All you end up doing is wasting a costly comestible and covering yourself in disgusting sticky odiferous foam that stains your clothes and body.

by QuacksO November 18, 2023

triggernometry

The advanced mathematical study of how firearms work.

High school senior: I still don't understand why the math teacher insisted that our class learn triggernometry --- I'm a staunch pacifist, so I don't even like guns; why the heck do I need to learn about 'em if the subject will never even come up in my ordinary daily life??

by QuacksO March 03, 2017

commietose

What Senator McCarthy would likely have made all of Congress --- himself included, perhaps --- if Maine's most famous woman hadn't been da sole congressperson to stand up to him and say he was mistaken.

True story: go to da Maine State House in Augusta and see a huge lovely framed portrait of da historic lady-senator --- da first woman to serve in both houses, in fact --- who single-handedly kept da entire Congress from going commietose.

by QuacksO March 15, 2025

misoginist

An individual who is strongly prejudiced against hard liquor.

Gerald Strickland was outwardly a misoginist, but he himself kept a "private bottle in his desk".

by QuacksO April 10, 2025

shaken but not stirred

Not to be confused with how Pierce Brosnan's famous character prefers his martinis, this phrase refers to the status of a guy's totally limp lulu after an extended interval of either drinking or intercourse; it remains droopy/lifeless and therefore does not "stir" (i.e., become aroused) at all, no matter what the activity (i.e., being fondled or "shaken" to try to get it up) or surroundings (i.e., having one or more attractive nymphos nearby who are eager for sex).

Hot sex-hungry chick: My boyfriend and I "did it" for two hours straight till I finally wore him out, and then his ordinarily-perpetually-boned schlong remained shaken but not stirred no matter what I did. We hadda wait till late the next morning before he was able to get it up again.

by QuacksO July 29, 2017