QuacksO's definitions

staphperson

A "toxic" employee in a store, office, or factory who creates a sickening environment for everyone around him.

Having a staphperson join your employment-team is indeed a horrid burden for everyone else, but it also provides an excellent excuse to call back that headhunter who contacted you the other day.

by QuacksO November 8, 2018

noter republic

An established colony of people who claim to be worthy of being trusted/believed just because they put stuff in writing --- i.e., "take notes".

I was told to find a "noter republic" to assist me in creating certified copies of important legal forms, but I don't see why I should have to travel to some distant country just for the purpose of legitimizing a few documents.

by QuacksO November 8, 2018

Reese-eipt

Da crinkly-paper "paid --- thank you" strip dat you'd be wise to hold onto for at least a day or two after your purchase, just in case you need to prove dat you weren't da one who swiped an orange-wrappered candy bar from da local convenience-store.

I've never actually been accused of shoplifting --- even just a candy bar --- but I still save my Reese-eipt for a few days after da sale --- better safe than sorry, ya know??

by QuacksO November 8, 2018

playful pirouette pivot

Refers to da humorous "waist-grasp and reverse-direction-swing" action dat ya perform wif a hot chick while you're out strolling da beach/countryside wif her, and you realize dat either (1) it's getting late in da day and so ya wanna be sure of getting yer snuggle-bun "back home to her mama" before dark, or (2) one or both of you has chores/appointments dat you shouldn't be late for, or (3) you've already trekked quite a long way, and so you're concerned dat one or both of you might get weary/achy legs if you journeyed any farther and then hadda clomp all da way back again.

Whenever Tiffany and I are out for a walk, I always smilingly employ da playful pirouette pivot --- complete wif a chuckly-musical "B-d-d-d-d-d-d-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-u-h-h-m-m-p-p!" sound as I twirl her halfway around --- to help take da "sting" out of da fact dat we hafta start heading back again... sooooo much more pleasant dan simply saying, "Let's turn around now."

by QuacksO November 8, 2018

"Ohhhhhhh...!" moment

The super-welcome/relieving point in time when ya hear a repair-person make the much-hoped-for "Aha! I just now spotted what the problem is" type of exclamation, and so you happily realize that not only did he locate the source of the malfunction in your device, but his cheerful/confident tone also indicates that he knows how to fairly-easily correct said issue, and so presumably you should be "back up and running" without too much delay or expense.

I always love experiencing that wonderful "Ohhhhhhh...!" moment whenever I take a malfunctioning vehicle or household device in for service, since it means that the device is indeed repairable after all, and won't be that much trouble to get operating normally again.

by QuacksO November 8, 2018

CBSI

Stands for "Computer B**l S**t Incorporated". What George and Jeannie Douglass's telemarketing company was **really** about.

I could never truly get my head around CBSI's claim that telemarketing was truly the make-a-comfortable-living-with-minimal-effort job of the future... I mean, most American citizens have just so much capital to blow on non-necessities, and so in my mind, telephone sales calls didn't seem all that likely to significantly boost current spending-figures. And besides, I knew how much I as a "normal-minded human" detest being called at home by anyone trying to sell me something, and so if I hated it that much, most other folks would conceivably feel about the same way regarding it. It's little wonder, therefore, that CBSI eventually filed for bankruptcy (and got in deep doo-doo with Uncle Sam, as well!), just as that same "clan" of shysters who'd been running the company had done several times before with previous "get rich quick" fiascos. Plus from what I hear, there has indeed **never** been even ONE documented case where a person actually made a single red cent of profit at telemarketing; in fact, most of them apparently never even recouped the untold thousands that they'd invested in the computer-equipment and other materials they'd acquired to start their business... the whole telemarketing scam was just a "carrot on a stick" ploy to get people to purchase the telemarketing equipment from the company, not to truly assist anyone to start a profitable home-based business --- the sellers of the equipment were the only ones who made any profits on the deal!

by QuacksO November 8, 2018

Edward Snowed-in

Ex-CIA dude who cited "cabin fever" as his excuse for committing espionage.

Sounds like using pathetic/laughable excuses for supposedly justifying/forgiving serious crimes is becoming a trend --- first there was Ethan Couch with his "affluenza" defense, then Edward Snowed-in's whining about "cabin fever"... what's next???

by QuacksO November 8, 2018