QuacksO's definitions

antiochxidant

Can refer to either:
(1) an emotional cleansing dat's supposedly/purportedly attained by studying ancient Greek history, or
(2) a medicinal substance used to rid da body of da boredom-induced effects of said research mentioned above.

If performing super-tedious research regarding da famous ancient Hellenistic Greek city leaves you feeling less than chipper, visiting da identically-named third-largest city in Contra Costa County, California might conceivably be a suitable antiochxidant, since said metropolis is famous for its wide variety of culture and entertainment.

by QuacksO June 10, 2023

best bang for the buck

Refers to either:
(1) The choicest doe in the herd for the antlered stud to have a good ol' bouncy-bouncy session with, or
(2) The ratio of cost vs. overall sexual pleasure/enjoyment offered by each of the "available" or "willing" ladies in a dude's general locale, i.e., which gal offers the greatest overall "satisfaction package" (beauty, brains, boobs, etc.) for the least amount of monetary investment.

Generally speaking, the more gorgeous or "hot" a lady is, the more expensive she will be to date intimately. However, if you don't mind a gal with relatively minor aesthetic/personality drawbacks such as lots of freckles, some extra padding, slight overbite, or loud/airheaded/childish behavior, or if you're tolerant of mild-to-moderate physical/mental/emotional issues like thick glasses, a cane, an awkward stride, confusion/distress over simple matters, oddball interests, irrational phobias, etc., there may likely be one or more quite-attractive gals in your area who are currently "unattached" because most guys tend to pass them over for someone more outwardly desirable, but who would actually provide the best bang for the buck because they are both delightful to be around and don't expect to be financially pampered all that much.

by QuacksO February 21, 2018

CB-squelch speech

Refers to where you jokingly imitate the "momentary static" sounds of a 40-channel two-way radio when saying something, often accompanied by making a "thumbing the mike" motion with your hand.

If you wanna truly amuse others with your "CB-squelch speech" antics, you need to imitate the "transmit and receive switching" sounds correctly --- when you begin a sentence, first vocalize about a second of raspy-exhaled "radio hash" sound, then speak in an emotionless monotone as you "say your piece", and finally wrap up with a brief loud-static "sound byte".

Example: Raise your hand up near your mouth and make a "thumbing the mike" motion, then say, "Khaahhh --- that's an affirmative, Good Buddy." Then pretend to release the mike-button, while simultaneously making a sharp crisp "hkhauhhk!" throat-sound to imitate the radio's internal "send/receive" relay switching back and the squelch "kicking in" to silence the static

by QuacksO April 25, 2020

Smith Corona

Da brand of "dinosaur" mechanical typewriter dat made you so frustrated dat you'd likely need to drink fresh-lime-imbued pale-ale from a clear-glass bottle in order to tolerate da ordeal of using said clackety-clack unit to create documents.

In my younger days, I hadda use a clunky Smith Corona if I didn't wanna laboriously write everything out by hand. I'm a absolutely lousy typist even today, and therefore I totally wear out da "backspace" key on my computer-keyboard; dunno how I didn't take up drinking as a younger dude from all of dat stress of trying to hit da right keys every time.

by QuacksO August 26, 2019

noter republic

An established colony of people who claim to be worthy of being trusted/believed just because they put stuff in writing --- i.e., "take notes".

I was told to find a "noter republic" to assist me in creating certified copies of important legal forms, but I don't see why I should have to travel to some distant country just for the purpose of legitimizing a few documents.

by QuacksO November 8, 2018

sporegasm

Involuntary ejaculation due to your having stepped on a puffball mushroom and inhaled da dusty cloud dat flew up.

It's a good idea to ask da locals in a new hiking-area if there are any puffballs on da trails, to reduce da chance of your having any sporegasms along your trek.

by QuacksO January 24, 2022

spingenius

What Rumpelstiltskin was.

Da infamous "turning straw into gold" conjurer was indeed an amazing "spingenius", but he also put a cruelly-opportunistic "spin" on da bargain dat he made wif da girl in question --- he acted like her giving him her first-born child would not be all dat big a deal to her, but in reality it turned out to be an absolutely devastating prospect. I never was totally comfy wif his not actually being given da promised child, though --- I mean, he held up his end of da bargain by spinning all of da hay into gold, so common honesty and morality dictates dat he should have been at least granted some consideration in dat regard. I mean, if he truly desired to be a father-figure out of loneliness or whatever, perhaps he could have babysat da new queen's child during periods when Her Majesty was otherwise occupied and thus couldn't care for said youngster on her own, and maybe even been said child's tutor or "caring uncle" figure; dat way, da queen could still have retained her child to raise herself, but her savior-wizard could also have gleaned enjoyment and satisfaction from being a part of said child's life.

by QuacksO October 14, 2025