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QuacksO's definitions

evelly

(1) The manner in which Robert Craig "Evel" Knievel behaved. Note the word's spelling: it does **not** truly refer to cruelty or dishonestly. Overall, Bobby K. was actually a pretty decent guy with strong core values, such as always keeping his word, speaking out against drug use, and strongly advocating the use of helmets.
(2) The less-than-totally-pleasant "counterpart" adverb to the one utilized in the classic "Tom Swiftie" joke, "'No, Eve --- I do **not** want a bite of your apple,' Tom said adamantly."
"Have a bite of this apple from the Tree Of Knowledge," Tom said evelly.
by QuacksO November 3, 2018
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fundementalist

Someone who is "insane and enjoys every minute of it", often defending/rationalizing his crazed behavior and warped values with misguided religion.
Ambrose Bierce spoke of a "mad" person's being just as totally sure of his own sanity as anyone else would be --- I wonder if he had fundementalists in mind?
by QuacksO November 3, 2018
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foot-pounds

Refers to how much "downward burden" a pair of shoes is subjected to when worn by different people of varying corpulence.
Sport-shoes with cushioning air-chambers are the easiest type of footwear to retrofit for measuring the foot-pounds that the shoes are loaded with --- just drill and thread a hole in one of the air-chambers, and then install an air-pressure gauge.
by QuacksO November 4, 2018
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undergraduate

A dumba** college student with a barely-passing grade whom a company hires extra-cheaply because he lacks the knowledge/experience to perform his job efficiently, and so he cannot pull a "standard" wage that a properly-qualified laborer could.
According to recent statistics, a majority of schoolteachers are undergraduates who were at the bottom 20% of their classes, both academically and socially. So think of it --- these snooty morons totally suck at even knowing or performing their given professions, and yet they have the job of TUTORING the rest of us! What kinda convoluted bu**s**t is THAT???
by QuacksO November 4, 2018
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ursular

A severe inflammation of the stomach caused by excessive stressing over someone named Ursula.
Patient: For some reason I have a major crush on Ursula the Sea Witch, plus I cannot help noticing how much she resembles Tammy Bakker.
Shrink: Well, dat all actually seems fairly logical --- I would hafta agree wif you on both accounts. Dat smiley octopus-dame is indeed one of Disney 's more pleasing-expressioned villain-characters, plus I myself have wondered sometimes if "Makeup Molly" was da inspiration for da "Lavender Lady". We should still explore ways to somewhat take your mind off da whole subject, though, so dat you don't develop an ursular over it.
by QuacksO November 4, 2018
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anythyme

Refers to the status of assistance/companionship's being available "24/7/365", provided that you always supply a particular fragrant herb during said activity.
Tiffany loves the aroma of essential oils so much that she will come over and canoodle wif me literally anythyme day or night, just as long as I'm burning a stick of sweetly-fragrant incense in da room when she arrives.
by QuacksO November 4, 2018
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pince-nez president poser

Refers to an assistance-related question --- either a request for a favor or an offer to provide help yourself --- regarding a slightly "cranky" subject dat da person whom you're approaching might otherwise feel annoyed/embarrassed to be queried about; you therefore "soften the blow" by humorously "packaging" your question as a knock-knock joke, and using da first name of dat geeky-lookin' Prez wif da round-rimmed spectacles as da name of da "visitor" in da joke.
Here are da two “classic” ways dat ya would smilingly employ da “pince-nez president poser” to hopefully lessen da distress dat your listener would likely feel to be asked said question:
To ask da person for his assistance:
“Knock, knock…”
”Who’s there?”
“Woodrow!!!”
”Woodrow, who?”
“Woodrow be reasonably able to ___ for me sometime in da next few days?”
Or to offer da person your own assistance:
“Knock, knock…”
”Who’s there?”
“Woodrow!!!”
”Woodrow, who?”
“Woodrow like me to ___ for you occasionally, if it’s reasonably convenient for both of us?”
by QuacksO November 5, 2018
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