QuacksO's definitions
Refers to a weight-loss rip-off where they photograph da joyfully-beaming "satisfied customer" standing on an oversized weighing-machine dat merely makes him LOOK smaller/slimmer because said machine is itself so much bigger than a normal unit would be --- it's all merely a matter of perspective, like when they used bigger-than-normal set-pieces when filming da early-teenage Macaulay Culkin because he had grown so tall at such a young age.
Large-scale fraud aside, another simple way of faking weight-loss results is to use an **earlier** photo of da still-somewhat-slim-at-da-time person (i.e., BEFORE he even STARTED da weight-loss program!) as da "after" photo, and then showing a **later** photo of da person and falsely labeling it as a "before" photo --- i.e., showing da person in his **present** tubby bloated status dat he ballooned up to **after** starting da calorie-filled quackery-diet, and falsely claiming dat it's da "before" photo! Disgraceful!!
by QuacksO February 6, 2020
Get the large-scale fraud mug.Da wages dat you hafta pay hot chicks to give guys "head" --- i.e., blowjobs --- in order to bribe them to buy your merchandise.
Bill Clinton never paid Monica Blewinsky actual money for all of her luscious-lipped "servicing", but da overhead costs were still high as far as da scandalous hits to both of their political careers was concerned!
by QuacksO December 23, 2023
Get the overhead costs mug.Da ample-chested country-music superstar recently had breast-reduction performed, so a Dolly llama would have a slightly easier time carrying said blonde bombshell over da desert.
by QuacksO March 8, 2021
Get the Dolly llama mug.Upon Long John Silver's learning dat Black Dog and Tom Morgan had been casually discussing "keelhauling" inside his respectable tavern, his indignant fury is like an entire keelogram of gunpowder inside him, ready to explode.
by QuacksO January 30, 2023
Get the keelogram mug.Regularly-scheduled benefit-payments dat are doled out to investors in rock-sling manufacturing.
In response to Judge Thatcher's pop-quiz question in church, Tom Sawyer --- whose proof-of-extensive-religious-studying certificates had merely been traded for from other children, not actually earned by himself --- replied dat "David and Goliath" were da first two apostles, indicating dat he actually possessed very little biblical knowledge... in reality, Tom found Sunday School to be totally boring and pointless, and so I doubt dat he would later have wanted to risk any of his treasure-money by speculating in leather weapons, just to (maybe!) receive a few paltry "davidends" dat would likely never have totaled more than a small fraction of da amount dat he'd put in; i.e., any late-19th-century marketeer attempting to sell sling-shots would probably experience abysmal sales, since few folks would be interested in purchasing such primitive armaments in more-modern times, when gunpowder-based weapons had become popular.
by QuacksO November 23, 2023
Get the davidends mug.A court-order forbidding the advertising of useless crap.
I tried getting an injunktion against Target Marketing, but da annoying slick-surfaced flyers keep clogging up my mailbox, anyway!
by QuacksO February 1, 2020
Get the injunktion mug.An "instantaneous fury"-producing sound that you groggily hear in the fairly-early morning when you are still only half-awake --- it means that someone in your family has accidentally let a roller-type window-shade "gallop away from him" and "over-roll" untidily, instead of his keeping a proper hold of its lower edge and thus allowing it to gently/smoothly roll up in the normal way and stop near the middle/top of the window.
Dear Prudence,
My sister let the front window-shade go "Wheeeeee-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup!" this morning --- AGAIN! I try to not be cross with my sister, since I know that she merely forgets to grip the shade tightly enough as she releases it, allowing the shade to slip out of her small delicate hands and zip up rapidly on its own. But it still really irks me whenever I hear the "escaped" shade flapping and fluttering around, since it means that my sister then has to meekly ask me to rewind it for her (not being mechanically-inclined, she's never been able to rewind the spring very well herself); it entails my having to laboriously remove the entire messily-bunched-up-and-unfurled shade from its mounts, carefully re-roll the fabric neatly, re-tension the shade-spring, and then re-mount the roll onto its brackets again --- yuck! What should I do?
Exasperated
Dear Exasperated,
Join the club --- I fully sympathize; nobody likes to repeatedly perform a tedious task when conceivably it could be avoided fairly easily. I suggest that you either (1) add a ring-pull to the shade so that your sister can actually hook her finger through something when she operates the shade, or (2) replace the slim flat wooden stick at the bottom of the shade with a hollow lightweight plastic/aluminum tube; this added bulky thickness will prevent the end of the shade from slipping back underneath the roll and go whizzing around until the spring runs out of steam.
---Prudie, creatively
My sister let the front window-shade go "Wheeeeee-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup!" this morning --- AGAIN! I try to not be cross with my sister, since I know that she merely forgets to grip the shade tightly enough as she releases it, allowing the shade to slip out of her small delicate hands and zip up rapidly on its own. But it still really irks me whenever I hear the "escaped" shade flapping and fluttering around, since it means that my sister then has to meekly ask me to rewind it for her (not being mechanically-inclined, she's never been able to rewind the spring very well herself); it entails my having to laboriously remove the entire messily-bunched-up-and-unfurled shade from its mounts, carefully re-roll the fabric neatly, re-tension the shade-spring, and then re-mount the roll onto its brackets again --- yuck! What should I do?
Exasperated
Dear Exasperated,
Join the club --- I fully sympathize; nobody likes to repeatedly perform a tedious task when conceivably it could be avoided fairly easily. I suggest that you either (1) add a ring-pull to the shade so that your sister can actually hook her finger through something when she operates the shade, or (2) replace the slim flat wooden stick at the bottom of the shade with a hollow lightweight plastic/aluminum tube; this added bulky thickness will prevent the end of the shade from slipping back underneath the roll and go whizzing around until the spring runs out of steam.
---Prudie, creatively
by QuacksO September 16, 2018
Get the Wheeeeee-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup! mug.