A good line to use wif a cute chick when ya wanna do something totally "innocent 'n' harmless" like rub her feet, give her a cuddly soothing massage, etc.
Telling a hot gal dat "It's fun, calorie-free, and won't get you pregnant" can also be effective for getting her to allow you total access to her warm softness wif your hands and lips, provided dat you are actually able to "keep it in your pants" (or at least just in her hand or mouth, if you're both naked). Good luck wif DAT, though --- once you get excited from savoring her exquisite flesh, her juicy-looking coochie may look awfully tempting for your painfully-engorged lulu! What you can do in dis case, though, is to either wear a condom or have her "relieve da pressure" manually/orally, and then you can safely thrust inside of her for at least a few minutes before your sperm-glands "recharge themselves" to da point where you would again be in danger of spurting helplessly while you're eagerly "soothing her baby-tunnel" wif your swollen "love-pipe".
by QuacksO December 12, 2019
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game-show response

Refers to where you say either "Ding!" --- to mean "yes" or "that's fine" or "you guessed it" --- or "Baaahhhmmmpp!" to mean "no" or "not okay" or "wrong again". May indeed be a hilarious response for da speaker, but others may find it annoying or even rudely demeaning, especially if it's over-used every single day.
Our class clown loves to gleefully give game-show responses to da teacher's questions, but somehow said more-serious-minded educator-adult seldom seems overly amused by said noisy 'n' silly replies.
by QuacksO March 26, 2023
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introductory offer

(1) Refers to how a "perpetually horny" guy thinks whenever a fellow bachelor verbally acquaints him with an attractive lady; the sex-hungry stud interprets this casual INTRODUCTION as an OFFER to him to take the gal to bed.
(2) How a girl's spread-eagled legs are interpreted by her significant other or by anyone else of "opportunistic mindset" who happens to be within sight of her --- the unaware gal may have simply been stretching sleepily, getting comfortable while squatting/sitting flat, or otherwise merely performing a casual and "innocent" action, with no intention of trying to "solicit" herself, but any horny guy in the vicinity will automatically view the girl's crotch-baring action as an OFFER for him to INTRODUCE that portion of HIS "equipment" that resides between his OWN legs.
Clueless dude: I never know which “signal” my girlfriend is sending when I happen to see her lying back with her legs spread --- I can't tell if she's making me an introductory offer, or if she is merely “airing herself out” during hot weather or after a shower.
by QuacksO August 20, 2013
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movie madness

That feeling of growing panic and insanity that one feels at times when he does not have access to any "compatible" video entertainment.
Girl (dejectedly scanning her new guy's bedroom bookshelf that's neatly stacked with row upon row of boxed DVD sets) Aw, c'mon, hunny... “the Back to the Future trilogy"... “The Bionic Woman, all three seasons"... "Jacques Cousteau, the Odyssey and Exploration series"... "Knight Rider, the complete series"... "MacGyver, the seven seasons and two films"... oh, my word --- "The Red Green Show, the complete FIFTEEN SEASON series"??? "The Six Million Dollar Man boxed set"???? And then you've got classic westerns, PBS documentaries, real-life mystery compilations, history of technology films... how's a girl supposed to be entertained around here??? You've got nuthin' but GUY movies!
Guy: (gently) Well, what do you expect, sweet cheex? I AM a guy, so naturally I would have collected male-oriented entertainment. I can see how you would feel a bit of movie madness, though, without any Mary-Kate 'n' Ashley or Hannah Montana programs to watch.
by QuacksO November 05, 2013
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doury

A financial expenditure/transfer dat a woman's family shells out to her new husband upon her wedding, but are none too thrilled about it.
In da W.C. Fields comedy, "The Dentist", da cantankerous lead character is crowd-pressured into agreeing to allow his daughter to continue having da ice-delivery man as her fiance, but I'm guessing dat said heatedly-resentful practitioner was really ears-smokingly begrudging wif his doury when they did eventually get hitched!
by QuacksO May 20, 2022
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massive-airflow sensor

An electronic device to measure da frequency and/or degree of your farts.
Generally speaking, you wouldn't need a massive-airflow sensor to keep tabs on your butt-splutters: people's ears --- and often their noses, as well --- will be totally aware of each and "every toot you make" and "every wind you break"! (Have I been watching too much Weird Al???)
by QuacksO February 29, 2024
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even a baby could do it

Yeah, sure --- if the baby in question was Einstein or Hulk Hogan before he grew up.
Often when an adult snortingly grumbles that, "Even a baby could do it!" when a child either doesn't understand instructions or is too timid/weak to perform some action, the truth is that the grownup is **himself** not able to explain or carry out the task, either, and so he is merely trying to make himself feel better by verbally putting down the poor innocent child. Pathetic.
by QuacksO July 23, 2019
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