Knowing dat a gal has ample-sized "milk jugs" may be all da moo-tivation dat a tongue-lolling stud needs to actively court and woo her.
by QuacksO February 28, 2022
Da type of horse dat da Gingerbread Man rides. This is da real reason dat he was able to outrun everybody --- naturally, his tiny little short legs could never have enabled him to run very fast, but he was riding a swift steed which allowed him to easily outdistance his merely-on-foot pursuers.
Da story of da Gingerbread Man never actually occurred da way da fairly-tale relates it... da fox merely wrote da narrative dat way 'cuz he was humiliated dat da Gingerbread Man prudently declined da cleverly-devious crimson-canine's offer to give him a ride across da stream on his back, but instead wisely went back to his house and got his long-legged Thoroughbread horse to easily splash across da river, and so da infuriated --- and hungrier-than-ever --- fox never got to eat da Gingerbread Man, after all.
by QuacksO August 31, 2019
I always ask myself how big a hypocrite anyone who grandiosely says, "Just say "no" possibly is, since we all know dat many people who scream and holler against various "pleasure/recreational items/practices" (i.e., tobacco, drugs, alcohol, gambling. sex, video-games, etc.) either partake of said sinfuls themselves (think, Principal Strickland in "Back To The Future II", who vehemently rails against teenage drinking, but is himself a closet alcoholic), or financially profit from them (like where da boys in da Homer Price story "Pie and Punch and You-Know-Whats" grumblingly discuss how one of da grade-school teachers verbally condemns chewing-gum, and yet her husband sells a lot of it at his store every day).
by QuacksO December 24, 2019
What America is REALLY all about, especially nowadays when 'most everyone is "just looking out for No. 1", and with so many greedy-a** Fletcher Reedes out there who are shamelessly willing to drag fellow humans into Court on grossly-exaggerated/trumped-up charges merely in a selfish effort to fatten their own wallets (or at least to be "famous for ten minutes"), not because said other hapless mortals actually committed any crimes or otherwise intentionally wronged them.
I've heard horror-stories about what dishonest and greedy/selfish jerks some of our nation's founding fathers were really like, so I wonder if their passage in the Constitution was merely a "cell-phone static" type pf error (i.e., just like the "totally-honorable" Enron officials had conscientiously told their subordinates over their cell-phones to "ship the documents to the Feds" but this message's audio-clarity had suffered in the staticky interference-filled airwaves, and so the subordinates had thought that their bosses had said, "Rip the documents to shreds"), and these money-hungry two-faced fibbers had actually written, "lie, flibberty, and the purse-suit of happiness".
by QuacksO June 24, 2019
A short stretch of highway along Maine's coastal Route 1 where it's acceptable to "pass it if you've got it", not matter how loud and/or odiferous "it" happens to be.
Hippie-bus driver: Okay, folks --- we're about to cross the Passagassawakeag bridge, so I'm lowering the windows --- feel free to pass it if you've got it!
by QuacksO September 29, 2018
A creative method of scavenging for discarded returnable beverage-containers along the road; it involves starting out from your house and walking along one side of the road and throwing any returnables that you find on that side across the road to the other side, so that you can then collect all the returnables from both sides of the road on your way back again; this eliminates your having to carry any heavy bags of containers "the wrong way", i.e., in the opposite direction from your home, where you want to transport all the containers for processing and bagging up for the redemption center.
Toss-across collecting is a great way to save time and effort when scavenging for discarded empties; just don't toss glass containers, though, since they can easily shatter if they land on a rock or sizeable stone. Also, put some water or a small pebble inside the super-lightweight plastic bottles, so that they will be heavy enough to sail all the way across the road, especially if there's a breeze blowing in the opposite direction.
by QuacksO August 17, 2018
"You can 'watch 'n' observe' as carefully as you please while driving and you will still miss your turn-off, and so no amount of continued 'Oh, I'm sure it's just around the next curve" tootling further down the road will bring you to it. But if you do actually decide to turn around and go back to see if you did inadvertently pass your desired intersection, it will of course NOT be 'back there', and you will subsequently find out that you'd been within just a few hundred yards of it at the point when you'd turned around, and so you simply wasted gas and time by backtracking; it had indeed been 'just around the next corner', and so you'd have reached it the first time if you simply hadn't been so gol-durned impatient."
I missed my turn-off during a road-trip because I was carefully watching out for traffic and thus never noticed the side-road I wanted --- classic case of Murphy's Law of Intersections!
by QuacksO May 18, 2019