QuacksO's definitions

revvinue

Da extra capital dat oil-companies make from selling gas to macho hot-rodder show-offs who love to sit and gun their engines just to make lots of "glorious" noise.

I own just a regular "simple" sedan with an economy-designed engine, and I only apply moderate pressure on the gas-pedal when I tootle peaceably down da motorways... X-on ain't earnin' no extra revvinue from your truly!

by QuacksO July 21, 2019

capeability

The level of probable/possible performance possessed by cloak-wearing superheroes like Superman or Batman.

I never could understand why so many famous "good guy" figures wore those long cloaks that conceivably would impede their limbs-and-body movements and thus decrease their capeability to swoop around, engage in swift/strenuous actions, and otherwise fight crime effectively the way they always do.

by QuacksO July 21, 2019

Fritz Chrysler

Early-20th-century dude who both wrote/played lovely violin-music and invented a well-known brand of auto-bubble.

It's too bad dat in-dash car-stereos didn't become popular till da '70's after Fritz Chrysler had passed away, or he night have included some tapes of his violin-music with a new-car purchase for his customers to enjoy.

by QuacksO July 22, 2019

capabillity

How good/effective you are at expediently/accurately totaling up how much your customer owes you.

I used to moderately detest math-classes in grade school, but now I am indeed glad that I was made to study and learn it so well, since it surely helps my budgetting-capabillity while seeking out the best values in the supermarket or department store, and for speedily calculating sums in my head when checking a printed invoice for possible errors.

by QuacksO July 22, 2019

At least the laundry dries faster on the clothesline

What you say to make a super-sweltering day seem a bit less miserable.

Besides keeping in mind that, "At least the laundry dries faster on the clothesline", you can also remember to utilize two other "perks" of extra-hot weather --- the solvent on freshly-painted/glued items will take less time to evaporate, and your swimming pool will warm up faster so that its water won't be such a shock to climb into. (This latter phenomenon also often works for a nearby pond or brook, of course, and so you can avail yourself of this delightful "oasis of cool relief" sooner after sunrise, too, if you don't have a pool of your own. Some southern areas even allow people to "shed it all" and go skinny-dipping once the local temps exceed a certain level, too, and so this can be an additional "heat-wave advantage".)

by QuacksO July 22, 2019

misscreant

A female delinquent. Her "fairer gender" means that she can get away with a lot more --- or be punished a lot less (think Mary Kay Letourneau, who only served a comparatively short sentence for a super-serious crime that a man in the same position would likely have gotten decades of prison time) --- than a guy trying the same shenanigans.

The use of misscreants to aid in committing crimes has long been practiced --- people are just naturally more trusting of females, and so they tend not to be monitored so closely as their male counterparts would be. Adult men looking to steal from a place of business often send girls or younger women into said store beforehand to either distract the staffpeople or to commit the pilfering themselves.

by QuacksO July 23, 2019

a**h**e safety-net

A.k.a. "a**h**e insurance". Refers to where you habitually bring a really intolerably-obnoxious human along with you on potentially-dangerous excursions, such as on an airline-trip, into battle or a "bad" part of town, on a road-trip through natural-disaster areas like flooding or rock-slides, into a hazardous-materials area, etc., to better your own chances of survival. The theory behind this practice, of course, is that whenever there is a widespread catastrophe or other mass-annihilation incident, statistically the "nice" folks are usually the ones who get killed, while the super-nasty inhabitants in the disaster-area invariably seem to escape with little or no injury. So the obvious conclusion would be that if you "keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" (i.e., always stay right next to the acridly-antisocial hombre who's accompanying you), the Fate gods --- who apparently like and favor the mean folks, since they always seem to spare them --- will be hesitant to allow anything harmful to occur in your vicinity, since they would not want to risk harming or killing one of their precious meanie-jerks, as well. Simple, but effective, and a lot cheaper and more reliable than buying death/accident-insurance.

The concept of the "a**h**e safety-net" is nothing new --- it's actually just kinda the reverse of taking hostages: while the latter involves keeping desirable people close to you so that their fellow humans will not send bullets or bombs your way for fear of hurting their abducted loved ones, the former strategy also utilizes the "human shield" concept, but in the exact opposite way... no respectable human being would give a rat's a** if your cranky-natured companion were eliminated ("Good riddance!"), but the Gods of Fate would indeed wish to maintain the well-being of such miscreant, and so they will feel forced to let you live on, as well.

by QuacksO July 23, 2019