QuacksO's definitions

frictional statement

A non-legitimate assertion regarding force-impeding drag between two surfaces.

My supposedly-on-a-strict-sugar-free-diet cousin claimed dat its having taken him a longer-than-normal time to pedal to da hardware store and back was merely due to da bike's having stiff bearings and there being a strong headwind during part of da journey, but dat was obviously just a frictional statement dat he'd made up in an attempt to cover for da fact dat he had actually stopped at da candy store on his way back --- I happened to know dat da weather was dead-calm dat day, plus I had thoroughly greased and oiled said two-wheeler just a few days earlier.

by QuacksO January 1, 2022

testimoney

Refers to one or more cash-bribes paid to someone who is willing to lie in court on behalf of his/her "benefactor", either to get said cash-flasher off the hook for a crime that he did indeed commit, or to wrongfully convict someone else who either is completely innocent or could not have been expected to behave differently from how he acted (i.e, he has a physical/mental disability, he'd had no idea whatsoever that he was doing other than what was acceptable, there were extenuating circumstances and/or there was "more to the story" than the plaintiffs were letting on, etc.).

If you are sufficiently attractive and/or possess a sufficiently-convincing manner, you may not need to seek "regular" employment --- you may be able to subsist very comfortably on the testimoney of others who need a "vindicating/corroborating witness".

by QuacksO December 26, 2018

triple-s double-handshake clasp

A “single-status-scoping” maneuver to see whether a hot chick whom you’re interested in is rocking anything besides “non-official” finger-jewelry.

Using da triple-s double-handshake clasp is merely one of several pleasant hands-accessing techniques to visually determine if a gal is wearing wedding and/or engagement rings --- doing finger-interlacings, playing fingertips or palm-juggle or wrist-clap, or performing other soh-shuh-buhl activities wif her pretty hands are all good ways of figuring out whether said attractive damsel might be someone whom you could either court yourself or at least consider asking for a “more than just a hands-and-feet relationship” status.

by QuacksO November 21, 2024

simbaotic relationship

What "Mick" Dundee shared wif da three "big cats" in his third movie.

Da simbaotic relationship dat our likeable "hero from Down Under" had cultivated wif da carnivorous circus-animals surely proved useful in freeing his wife and capturing da criminals.

by QuacksO July 5, 2021

mullitary

An armed force dat does more "waiting" than "hurrying up" while da superiors hem and haw around when trying to decide what to do.

Members of da "mulletary" have weird haircuts and are regularly fed fried fish, so maybe da top brass in da "mullitary" takes extra time pondering what barber-creations work best for themselves and their recruits, and how to prepare said "ishy-squishy"-based meals.

by QuacksO February 13, 2024

Murphy's Law of Intersections

"You can 'watch 'n' observe' as carefully as you please while driving and you will still miss your turn-off, and so no amount of continued 'Oh, I'm sure it's just around the next curve" tootling further down the road will bring you to it. But if you do actually decide to turn around and go back to see if you did inadvertently pass your desired intersection, it will of course NOT be 'back there', and you will subsequently find out that you'd been within just a few hundred yards of it at the point when you'd turned around, and so you simply wasted gas and time by backtracking; it had indeed been 'just around the next corner', and so you'd have reached it the first time if you simply hadn't been so gol-durned impatient."

I missed my turn-off during a road-trip because I was carefully watching out for traffic and thus never noticed the side-road I wanted --- classic case of Murphy's Law of Intersections!

by QuacksO May 18, 2019

loonatic

Someone who goes totally bonkers from hearing da haunting trilling calls of a common aquatic bird.

Norman Thayer acts kinda weird on several occasions throughout da famous "On Golden Pond" movie; I wonder if this is due to da first stages of his becoming a loonatic?

by QuacksO August 27, 2022