Definitions by QuacksO

mammary magnetism 

An irresistibly-strong EMF-field produced by female breast-tissue, and which reacts with the iron in a man's blood and forcibly draws him towards said sumptuous chest-pillows. Just like a regular lodestone, "size matters" --- the greater the quantity (or should I say, "quantitty") of said "polar protoplasm", the stronger the magnetic pull it produces; this is why guys tend to be more attracted to gals with bigger boobs.

Buxom gal: I tried the old "tinfoil hat" strategy --- i.e., lining my bras/bikini-tops with aluminum food-wrap --- in the hopes that it would reduce my mammary magnetism, but I didn't really notice much difference... guys still keep staring at my boobs and trying to feel me up whenever they have a chance.

mammary magnetism by QuacksO January 31, 2019

mattress-magnetism 

A strong/intense EMF-field that emanates from your bed-springs; said powerful field creates a debilitating "pull" on the iron in your blood and thus makes it very hard for you to get out of bed, especially on those occasions when it is absolutely necessary for you to do so, such as when it's time to get ready for work, you "need to pee real bad", the telephone or doorbell rings, someone else in the household (child, pet, elderly house-guest, etc.) urgently requires your assistance, etc.

I am firmly convinced dat there is a great conspiracy among Sealy, Serta, and da other major mattress-manufacturers to intentionally create mattresses that mess with your body and cause you to feel groggy and heavy when trying to lift your head up off da pillow. Perhaps they specifically design their mattresses' coil-springs to act like magnetic coils that harness the earth's magnetic field and then create a strong magnetic pull on your iron-rich blood, this "mattress-magnetism" is why it's often such a gargantuan struggle to raise yerself off da sheets.

mattress-magnetism by QuacksO January 31, 2019

phase-locked loop 

Refers to an unfortunate situation where someone who had begun exhibiting undesirable behavior that others had initially assumed was his "just going through a phase" actually does **not** eventually "taper off", but continues to display said distressing attitude/actions.

My teenage son started being really rude and mouthy at age 12, and our pediatrician had assured me that it was "merely a stage he was going through", and that "he'd outgrow it eventually". Well, that was over six years ago, and if anything the boy's behavior is even more sulkily-resentful and anti-social than ever --- looks like a phase-locked loop to me!

phase-locked loop by QuacksO January 31, 2019

farternize 

To sociably "shoot da breeze" with other like-minded individuals who derive uproarious amusement from the act of passing gas.

While it may indeed be "great fun and games" to farternize and share "rip-roaring good times" with other similarly-crude-minded humans who also get raucous belly-laughs from copious flatulence, there are definite hazards involved with exposure to such voluminous quantities of sulfurous methane --- adequate ventilation and the extinguishing of all open flames is highly recommended.

farternize by QuacksO January 31, 2019

botchulism 

(n.) Definition #1: A serious food-borne illness that causes people to behave in a totally bumbling and clumsy manner, and therefore they totally screw up most anything that they try to accomplish. I wonder if that was Inspector Clouseau's problem? Definition #2: A form of government/civilization that encourages everyone to just go haphazardly knocking about and making a complete muddle of everyday tasks; officials from said government may occasionally come through the municipality to ostensibly assist said incompetents to "repair the damage", but of course these hapless/clueless agents are just as inept as their civilian counterparts, and so they usually just end up making the chaos worse.

I think that a lot of the countries in the world really practice botchulism more than they embrace any other form of government... socialism, communism, capitalism --- whatever they claim to practice, it usually ends up totally screwing everything (and everybody) up, and so in the end it all results in pretty much the same meaningless chaos.

botchulism by QuacksO January 31, 2019

poutrageous 

Denotes the perceived status of something that someone considers so unreasonable or incompatible with his own wishes/preferences/capabilities that he reacts to it by fumingly going off to sulk in a corner.

I merely suggested that my five-year-old should visit the pediatrician for a pre-school checkup, but he found that idea so poutrageous that he slammed off into his room and didn't come back out till late that afternoon.

poutrageous by QuacksO January 31, 2019

derect deposit

The load of love-juice that a male "invests" into a female's love-tunnel (or her mouth, depending on "how far they're going" at the time) from his stiff taut "dispensing-spout".

I always ask a gal if she's in danger of getting preggo before I make any derect deposits into her "downstairs ATM".

derect deposit by QuacksO January 31, 2019