Definitions by QuacksO
diabeetes
A supposedly-existing illness incurred from chowing down on too many disgusting-tasting/textured red globular veggies.
Eating beets won't give you "diabeetes" (and in fact, "said red" veggies may actually often **help** wif da "real deal" unstable-blood-sugar disorder), but if your toddler hates to eat dem, you don't need to force dem on him, since there are plenty of alternative foods dat will provide him wif comparable nutritional properties --- examples of usually-more-palatable-and-also-antioxidant-rich delicacies include blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, purple or red grapes, etc.
sobsolete
Denotes da no-longer-current status of whatever stupid-a** topic dat someone is bawling and blubbering about.
Brig'em Young
A sarcastically-disparaging nickname given to an overly-strict-'n'-severe military-base supervisor who staunchly believes in da appallingly-prejudiced "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" philosophy, and who therefore thinks dat any even-minorly-misbehaving "Army brat" should automatically be sent to da slammer, rather than being given a lighter punishment like probation or community service.
George Beat-Around-Da-Bush said he'd give us a "kinder gentler America" during his presidency, but said lofty promise never seemed to actually come to fruition --- selfishness and violent crime have climbed to an all-time high, and we still have plenty of "Brig'em Young" figures terrorizing da offspring of our nation's veterans!
Brig'em Young by QuacksO December 29, 2021
third semester
When a "loose" local chick announced dat she was in her final trimester, I assumed she meant dat she was taking her third semester in college; da only puzzling part about it is dat none of da area-colleges seemed to have any record of her ever having registered wif dem.
third semester by QuacksO December 28, 2021
alibye
A half-baked defense-story dat you give to a law-enforcement official in hopes dat he'll believe you enough to give you a farewell-wave and let you go on your way.
In humorist Dave Barry's book, "Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down", he states dat security at airports and border-crossings is often so incredibly lax dat almost any response --- however silly or improbable --- will likely be an acceptable alibye for a guard to casually wave you on through.
askevision
I quickly learned not to use my mom or dad as an askevision, since they would usually be horrified at what da kiddie-channel sensors had allowed to slip through for my tender eyes/ears to see on dat particular show, and so they would flatly forbid me from watching said show ever again. So I just allowed my puzzlements to languish rather than risking asking my parents about them, or else I would have eventually had no even-mildly-entertaining shows at all that I was allowed to watch!
askevision by QuacksO December 28, 2021
...if you ask me
Whenever someone says, "...if you ask me" at the end of a rant-'n'-rave-statement, he is acknowledging that he is feeling ignored. Do NOT encourage him by making ANY response or acknowledgement whatsoever --- this is merely a "fishing" statement to see if anyone's willing to listen to his whiny crybaby blather, so if he senses that anyone at all is even mildly receptive to him, he will not shut up for the next hour! You've been warned.
...if you ask me by QuacksO December 28, 2021