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Pete Dick's definitions

ass patrol

when the local police squad spends more time looking for women than actual criminals.
Chelsea: "I can't believe it, I got pulled over the other day outside of the Kirk Hotel"
Pete Dick: "Woa, what did you do?"
Chelsea: "I was driving 55 in a 30 with no license plates, oh and I was driving down the wrong side of the street with no lights on and it was night time, think I blew past a couple stop signs and had "Fuck the Police" on the radio."
Pete Dick: "You must have gotten at least five tickets."
Chelsea: "Not a single one, I am so lucky!"
Pete Dick: "Lucky??? That cop was obviously just on ass patrol."
Chelsea: "You think?"
Pete Dick: "Yes, he was jacking for beats"
Chelsea: "Wow"
by Pete Dick March 15, 2008
mugGet the ass patrolmug.

marathon dump

an abnormally long, difficult bowel movement.
The Cooker: "damn, where is tp? He went to the can an hour ago."
Pete Dick: "I dunno, maybe he is playing gay games..."
TP (returning from the bathroom, looking relieved: "Oh, wow."
The Cooker: "what the fuck took you so god damn long?"
TP: "marathon dump dude, you know my wife won't let me crap in the house. that thing has been brewing all week."
Pete Dick: "shut up and Irish yourself."
by Pete Dick March 30, 2008
mugGet the marathon dumpmug.

Jones Road

a fake road that does not really exist, used to give someone directions when you just want them off your back or want to confuse them.
The Cooker: "Dude, Uncle Freddie wants to come jacking for beats"
Pete Dick: "Does he know we are going to the Kirk Hotel?"
The Cooker: "No."
Pete Dick: "Good, just tell him we are going to the Beats Street Tavern and that it is on Jones Road and to meet us there."
The Cooker: "Wouldn't it be on Beats Street though?"
Pete Dick: "Don't worry about it, he is too stupid to figure it out."
by Pete Dick March 18, 2008
mugGet the Jones Roadmug.

take a walk

to conduct a sensitive discussion while striding up and down the block to avoid being overheard on those pesky eavesdropping devices.
Ever since the cops came and shook down Sammy Blue Eyes, I take a walk to discuss important business.
by Pete Dick February 17, 2008
mugGet the take a walkmug.

international man of leisure

A man whose tremendous wealth, social position, grooming, and worldleness allow him to pursue pleasurable social, cultural, and athletic hobbies or pasttimes, rather than employment.
Bartender: "Hey, seriously, what does Pete Dick do for a living?"
The Cooker: "I really shouldn't say..."
Bartender: "Come on, I won't tell anyone, please?"
The Cooker: "well, he is an international man of leisure."
Bartender: "woa, what is that?"
The Cooker: "well, basically it means he globe trots jacking for beats and each day finds time to Irish himself."
by Pete Dick March 21, 2008
mugGet the international man of leisuremug.

gaggle of hens

a group of annoying female who are out together making a collective noise that resembles the gaggling of a flock of hens.
Pete Dick: "We gotta get out of this place."
The Cooker: "Why?"
Pete Dick: "TP fucked one of those girls over there and now the whole gaggle of hens is talking about it."
by Pete Dick April 4, 2008
mugGet the gaggle of hensmug.

ass pollution

the accumulated effects of consistent farting over a period of time.
Msgr Sparrow: "Jen stop rolling the fucking windows down, its fucking freezing!"
Jen: "I have to to curb the effects of Pete Dick's ass pollution."
by Pete Dick March 14, 2008
mugGet the ass pollutionmug.

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