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OD Smith's definitions

nathan barley

Proof that even Chris Morris can write a pile of crap.
How did the genius behind The Day Today and Brass Eye come up with unwatchable catshite like Nathan Barley?
by OD Smith March 10, 2005
mugGet the nathan barleymug.

Backne

A condition familiar to bodybuilders and WWE employees: acne grows on their back which, coincidentally, is where they inject their steroids.
"Look at the backne on Bobby Lashley - it's like the Pyrinees!"
by OD Smith September 29, 2007
mugGet the Backnemug.

townie

The old word for chav which, frankly, sounds a lot better and less self-consciously constructed to sound obnoxious by a group of journalists on a slow July nesday.
"Oh great, another pack of townies coming to kick my head in because I don't conform to their world view."
by OD Smith March 18, 2005
mugGet the towniemug.

work placement

Another charming aspect of being on New Deal. After a certain amount of time on one of their ridiculous excuses for a training course, they decide to send out "students" on Wok Placement - ignoring the question of how, exactly, can you find paid work when you're stuck in a fucking office all day and not being paid for a second of it.

Essentially, it proves slavery is alive and well in the First World, as well as helping corrupt capitalists make a shitload of money at your expense? How? Put it this way - would Tesco want to hire ten people to stack their shelves for a salary every year, or a steady stream of unpaid labour from delivered from CETS every month to do the same? You work it out.
"I'm afraid you have to go on Work Placement in a place totally unsuited to you just so we don't have to help you find a job, which we're set up for, and help companies get fatter and fatter profits each and every year - which they pay us for."
by OD Smith April 14, 2005
mugGet the work placementmug.

microsoft access

An absolutly evil database programme, which serves no purpose other than driving you clinically insane at a remarkably quick pace.

Never used in the workplace, so it's ppointless to be taught how to use it in GCSE or A-Level IT.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK!!! Why won't it recognise this goddamn formula like a normal person?!?"
by OD Smith March 29, 2005
mugGet the microsoft accessmug.

england spirit

Being outplayed for 95% of a football match by a far superior team, but somehow managing to stay level with them due to a five minute period of scoring a couple of goals, which usually includes a Liverpool player blatantly diving for a penalty (which nobody bats an eyelid about) and hanging on for penalties.

If it was any other team, especially against England, they'd be labelled "cynical", "negative" or old fashioned "cheating bastards", which England's moronic fans will bleat about for at least twenty years afterwards.
England vs Argentina, 1998 World Cup
Liverpool vs Milan, 2005 "Champion's" League Final
by OD Smith June 5, 2005
mugGet the england spiritmug.

pete doherty

Purveyor of bland, same-old same-old indie crap that isn't particularly memorable, but it's OK! He's more famous for being a drugged-up wannabe burglar.
Can anyone actually hum a single Libertines tune?
by OD Smith March 23, 2005
mugGet the pete dohertymug.

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