20 definitions by Nottel Inyu

Driving some cars to an open space, opening all your windows/doors, switching on headlights/indicators, turning up the radio and dancing along to the synchronised beat outside at night.
Guy Number 1: I'm bored, man, what shall we do?
Guy Number 2: Let's go pick up Steve and have a car disco.
Guy Number 1: Fuck yeah, Radio 1 or 2?
by Nottel Inyu June 5, 2009
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The ratio which defines how much procrastination a person is required to do before doing anything useful.

Varies from person to person.

Usually stated in the format procrastination:useful work.
Guy #1: Have you sorted the smoke alarm yet?
Guy #2: Not yet, let me play a few more games of Robot Unicorn Attack first... I have about a 5-to-1 procrastination ratio.
Guy #1: So... Doing something useful takes you 6 times the amount of time it takes you toactually do the task?
Guy #2: You got it!
by Nottel Inyu December 6, 2010
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Someone who posts on their girlfriend/boyfriend's wall to express their love in an inappropriate, sickly way, knowing full well that the message will appear on all of their mutual friends' news feeds.

Maybe for attention, maybe to make everyone feel bad because they are obviously the ultimate couple, but one thing is for certain; the world would be a better place if they just IM'd the damn message.

Can also be applied to close friends of the same gender who enjoy gaying each other up in public, despite being straight.
Guy #1: Damn, Steve, stop commenting on yo' girl's Facebook wall! She's gonna think you're clingy.
Guy #2: Plus you're annoying pretty much everyone who knows you both. Get a room and stop being such a Facebook exhibitionist.
Steve: WHY MUST YOU TRAMPLE ALL OVER OUR LOVE?!
by Nottel Inyu January 12, 2011
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When you tell your waiter/waitress to 'keep the change', preventing the need to leave money as a tip at the end of your meal. Also negates the need to calculate how much you need to tip, because it seems casually generous.

Can only be used when you pay for your food when you order it, as opposed to the classic method of leaving extra money with your bill when you've finished eating.
Waiter: That'll be £9.68 please, sir.
Guy #1: *Hands over £10* Keep the change.
Waiter: Oh, thanks very much!
Guy #2: Nice autotip, man.
Guy #1: I know, that's nowhere near the socially acceptable 10% tip! I am a genius...
by Nottel Inyu January 23, 2011
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A resolution made for the new year, but not kept past January due to lack of commitment, a change of heart or some other excuse.
Guy #1: So many people have broken their new year's resolution by the end of January they might as well call it a 'Januresolution'.
Guy #2: Maybe people would do better at resolutions if they made new ones every month. That way, at least if they got broken, a new one would come along soon enough.
Guy #1: Yeah, but no one would bother with that.
by Nottel Inyu January 4, 2010
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Opposite to a private joke, a joke which anyone can join in with at any time. However, because of the possible scale of an open joke, it is much easier to kill and gets old much faster than a private joke.

Due to the nature of an open joke, specific times, people or places are usually not crucial to its execution.
Guy #1: Do you think anyone gets these references?
Guy #2: Not as far as I know. Sometimes I think it would be funnier to use an open joke here, then everyone could join in.
Guy #1: Yeah, but I find this funnier.
Steve: ...
by Nottel Inyu March 29, 2010
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