A male that holds a mouthful of milk in their mouth, places a straw down their pee pee hole, and blows the milk into the hole and into their bladder. Then the person can piss the white substance over anybody, anything, or back into a glass for re-consumption (a real party favorite).
by nob May 11, 2004
Usually done during foreplay. When your partners penis has been played with enough where it has become harder than a ham bone, you quickly grab a cheese grate and try to skin off as many layers of his cock as you can. Shaved Ham are the penis shavings.
by nob May 11, 2004
A fun nighttime activity. Under the cover of darkness a man or woman sneaks into a morgue with a shoehorn, white mask, and a tuna grinder. Only after finding a deceased woman can the wild sex begin. The shoehorn is only necessary if the corpse’s pussy has become too stiff for penetration.
by Nob April 28, 2004
An artistic approach to going to the bathroom. This art occurs accidentally or intentionally, and it doesn’t have to occur in a restroom. When your intestinal track and colon starts gurgling and bubbling with watery excrement and then notifies you that the situation has instantly become critical. You truffle-shuffle your way over to the nearest toilet, drop your pants and underwear as you wobble over to the first available stall, and then turn around and grab your ankles as you shit with all your might. The higher up on the wall the shit goes, the better the Picasso. If you paint onto the ceiling you have turned your art into a Michelangelo painting.
by Nob April 27, 2004
When you go and take a shit in a really nasty bathroom and you decide to stand. During the wiping process you knock a lump of wet shit into your underwear or on the ground.
by Nob April 27, 2004
This happens to nail biters. The nail biter will be sitting around and chomping on their nails when they get a taste of something that was lodged under one of their nails. This strange substance remained safely stored under the nail unexposed to any hand washing. After careful backtracking to the point where this substance was acquired, the nail biter realizes that during their last trip to the crapper that finger had busted through the toilet paper and shit was lodged under that nail. Bon-apatite.
by Nob April 28, 2004
For those that are extremely ass-greasy on a constant basis, this is a term to be aware of. Keeping up with asshole hygiene is very difficult for some individuals. Sometimes, to remain dry and “scent-free”, there needs to be some improvising when toilet paper isn’t easily accessible. It would be easy just to drag your ass across the carpet like a dog but there needs to be a certain level of dignity kept. Common methods to wiping ones ass can include using the bed sheet while in bed, using the inside of your shirt or underwear that you are wearing, washing your ass with water in someone’s bathroom sink (although disgusting, the jerk didn’t have any TP!), or any other situation where toilet paper is substituted with something.
by Nob April 28, 2004