Nob's definitions

Spread the Butter

For those that are extremely ass-greasy on a constant basis, this is a term to be aware of. Keeping up with asshole hygiene is very difficult for some individuals. Sometimes, to remain dry and “scent-free”, there needs to be some improvising when toilet paper isn’t easily accessible. It would be easy just to drag your ass across the carpet like a dog but there needs to be a certain level of dignity kept. Common methods to wiping ones ass can include using the bed sheet while in bed, using the inside of your shirt or underwear that you are wearing, washing your ass with water in someone’s bathroom sink (although disgusting, the jerk didn’t have any TP!), or any other situation where toilet paper is substituted with something.

“I was greasier than all hell so I had to spread the butter with Joe’s ferret.”

by Nob April 28, 2004

Coney Carry-out

This happens to nail biters. The nail biter will be sitting around and chomping on their nails when they get a taste of something that was lodged under one of their nails. This strange substance remained safely stored under the nail unexposed to any hand washing. After careful backtracking to the point where this substance was acquired, the nail biter realizes that during their last trip to the crapper that finger had busted through the toilet paper and shit was lodged under that nail. Bon-apatite.

“Although the Coney Island down the street is disgusting, their carry-out is great!”

by Nob April 28, 2004

Shaved ham

Usually done during foreplay. When your partners penis has been played with enough where it has become harder than a ham bone, you quickly grab a cheese grate and try to skin off as many layers of his cock as you can. Shaved Ham are the penis shavings.

My dad wasn't giving me my weekly allowance so I shaved ham.

by nob May 11, 2004