Definitions by No Tango and no Cash
Weekend at Bernie and Steve’s
When the cousins all meet in Tampa and want to have a good time- and they end up dragging a dead weight cousin around all week.
Damon and Terrence flew to Florida for a Weekend at Bernie and Steve’s! Damon didn’t want to go to the strip club though because he was scared his wife would kill him - so Terrence has to drag him around all weekend
Weekend at Bernie and Steve’s by No Tango and no Cash March 25, 2024
Wiffle fiction
When cousins make up shit about a fictional family Wiffle Ball game where the Lord of K’s, the oldest cousin, the master of gong clang, the ultimate curve wizard, the downward draft doink,…somehow gives up a dinger on the Ocean City beach, to a cousin that has always been only aloud to fetch foul balls and other errant balls in the dunes.
It never happened. It’s fucking family fiction.
It never happened. It’s fucking family fiction.
“Fucking Damon and Fran keep spewing Wiffle fiction about an imaginary game in Ocean City in like 2007….when The Maestro of Crooked Slurves was at his peak performance and a potential selection for the US Olympic Wiffle Ball Team. Steve did not stick a wicked Whammy over the wall and was surely sat down by a gonk of the gong sitting in the beach chair.
Knock this shit off- stop dreaming- show the damn tapes if this happened or get your assess to the beach to run a little reenactment of the alledged story - 14 years ago.
Complete Horse-shit!”
Knock this shit off- stop dreaming- show the damn tapes if this happened or get your assess to the beach to run a little reenactment of the alledged story - 14 years ago.
Complete Horse-shit!”
Wiffle fiction by No Tango and no Cash January 24, 2024
Phucking Phailure
When the Philadelphia Phillies have everyone believing in them and all their hopes and dreams are riding on a World Series Championship…but Ben Franklin’s curse strikes again and they fall short.
That is a Phucking Phailure.
That is a Phucking Phailure.
The Phillies blew 2 games in the NLCS and then were forced to go to game 7. Vegas had them as the favorites to win the World Series. They Came out flat in Game 7, at home, and lost to the Arizona Diamond Backs. The Philadelphia Phans were stunned by this Phucking Phailure and will spend the off season pleading for the Eagles to give them some hope as they crave a champion in this town.
Phucking Phailure by No Tango and no Cash October 25, 2023
Greg Finger
When you shoot firearms a lot, and have other injuries to coincide, you can sometimes develop “Trigger Finger”.
Trigger Finger is also called: trigger thumb and is a condition in which a finger gets stuck in a bent position and then snaps straight.
Trigger finger occurs when the tendon in the affected finger becomes inflamed. Those most at risk include women, people with diabetes or arthritis, and people whose regular activities strain their hands.
When a male, career, shooter gets it it’s called “Greg Finger.”
Trigger Finger is also called: trigger thumb and is a condition in which a finger gets stuck in a bent position and then snaps straight.
Trigger finger occurs when the tendon in the affected finger becomes inflamed. Those most at risk include women, people with diabetes or arthritis, and people whose regular activities strain their hands.
When a male, career, shooter gets it it’s called “Greg Finger.”
Travis: “Hey Hank, did you hear about Greg getting trigger finger?”
Hank: “No? You mean he got Greg Finger, right?”
Travis: “Yup, from all that masterbating he does before going to the range.”
Hank: “No? You mean he got Greg Finger, right?”
Travis: “Yup, from all that masterbating he does before going to the range.”
Greg Finger by No Tango and no Cash October 7, 2023
blasracephemy
the act or offense of speaking sacrilegiously about a racially sacred things; as a joke when in the company of really close friends of relative different races. profane talk amongst ball busting, close-knit friends to test boundaries of jokes about their race.
Blasracephemy does not occur outside friend circles that allow the topic being ball-busted to occur. Tolerance amongst friends is key as blasracephemy is actually a loving way of showing respect and admiration in a way normal human interaction out of the “circle of trust” would not understand.
Blasracephemy does not occur outside friend circles that allow the topic being ball-busted to occur. Tolerance amongst friends is key as blasracephemy is actually a loving way of showing respect and admiration in a way normal human interaction out of the “circle of trust” would not understand.
I almost mistook the blasracephemy between Eugene and Fran the wrong way when Fran was ripping Eugene’s appearance as a result of his Amish heritage. But then, Eugene shot back at Fran’s gay tendencies to eat cock candies as part of his Irish-Catholic upbringing. After they high fived each other and laughed - then I knew they were just busting balls.
I wish other people would stop being so sensitive and find a funny way to show thick skin about sensitive topics; and see the best in people the way Eugene and Fran do.
I wish other people would stop being so sensitive and find a funny way to show thick skin about sensitive topics; and see the best in people the way Eugene and Fran do.
blasracephemy by No Tango and no Cash October 5, 2023
COK
The #1 fantasy football trophy anywhere. Every player craves to get their hands on the COK at the end of the year. It’s name comes from the family league that created an acronym for a beloved aunt’s famous plee after being teased: “Come On Kurt!”
The annual COK was awarded to cousin Timmy. All the other family members in the league are craving the COK but Timmy yields it like a true champion!
COK by No Tango and no Cash September 29, 2023
Francis Fur
When cousins are all at the beach surfing, and one has a totally hairy chest while the others are all baby-seal-slick, that hairy cousin has Francis Fur.
Francis Fur grows like a genetic mutation, and can not be easily shaved. Razors clog and break so tree trimmers are needed. Francis Fur creates enough static electricity on a dry winter day to power a house for a week.
Francis Fur has a Velcro effect and must be covered by a cotton shirt, preferably one with a 4 leaf Irish clover logo on it, in order to prevent static cling to any item.
Francis Fur grows like a genetic mutation, and can not be easily shaved. Razors clog and break so tree trimmers are needed. Francis Fur creates enough static electricity on a dry winter day to power a house for a week.
Francis Fur has a Velcro effect and must be covered by a cotton shirt, preferably one with a 4 leaf Irish clover logo on it, in order to prevent static cling to any item.
During a family get together, Uncle Kurt told everyone a surfing story:
“Wow, when cousin Steve, went surfing with cousin Damon, they were riding a wave and really carving the tube. All of a sudden, both boards got magically stuck in the water and they both flew off into the rotor.”
“When they cam up, both boards were stuck to cousin Fran, who had been body surfing in the path. Apparently, his Francis Fur velcroed the boards because he didn’t have his t-shirt on.”
“Luckily, neither Steve nor Damon were injured when the boards were ripped out from under them.”
“Wow, when cousin Steve, went surfing with cousin Damon, they were riding a wave and really carving the tube. All of a sudden, both boards got magically stuck in the water and they both flew off into the rotor.”
“When they cam up, both boards were stuck to cousin Fran, who had been body surfing in the path. Apparently, his Francis Fur velcroed the boards because he didn’t have his t-shirt on.”
“Luckily, neither Steve nor Damon were injured when the boards were ripped out from under them.”
Francis Fur by No Tango and no Cash September 28, 2023